replied 8 years ago.
Hi again, reennie, and thanks for your reply with additional and helpful information.
I think the main part of his problem re: commitment and relationships may have started when his wife of 17 years left him for someone else. This was very hurtful to him, as you can imagine, and also, a blow to his confidence. When he met you, and I think 8 months is a respectable period of time, and you enjoyed each other's company, etc., that was great; however, even though I'm sure he cared for you, and still might, he's afraid to really throw himself into a longterm relationship, fearing he will be hurt again. I'm mentioning this, because it's important that you know what might be guiding his actions. It's most likely subconscious, and he doesn't even realize he's doing it or why he's doing it.
As far as your current situation, if he keeps in touch with you by phone, that's a 'plus' on your side, and I think you're approaching this in a very mature way. It's important to attain closure, and if meeting him will help you do this, that's very good for you. On the other hand, if he doesn't seem 'thrilled' with his new girlfriend, maybe there IS hope for the two of you to get back together, as you said, you'll know if there is something 'worth fighting for', when you meet with him. But, please approach this meeting with no expectations, so you're not disappointed afterward, if things don't go the way you want them to. You really can't walk away with any bad feelings; if you get closure, that's a feeling of satisfaction/if he gives you an indication there's still a chance for the two of you, you'll be encouraged.
The fact he continues to call you is good, but don't read more into it. If he wants to use you as a sounding board for his current relationship, don't get pulled into that web, as this kind of situation never ends well.
Meet with him, and see how it goes. Just remember, don't be overemotional, and let him do the talking, and see where he's at in his life. If he's 'just trying to enjoy life', but doesn't say he's 'happy', that's a pretty 'telling' statement.
After your meeting, if he doesn't give any indication he wants to start over with you, wish him well, walk away with your dignity and your closure, and move on with your life. In fact, although you still have feelings for him, it might be better, emotionally for you, not to continue your contact on the phone; this may hinder you from moving on and meeting new people. Any new boyfriend/relationship might be jealous or feel uncomfortable with your continued contact with an 'ex', and that's understandable.
I hope things work out well for you, and so far, I think you've handled this in a very good way, and will continue to do so.
Cher and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you