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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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if you are in a relationship with a recovering addict, who

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if you are in a relationship with a recovering addict, who is avtively involved in N.A. meetings, is it normal for the non-recovering mate to feel abandened, left out. It seems the recovering poerson has no time or interest in the other person yet claims to love and need that person. Time management is a known problem-yet- it would seem that the recovering person wojuld want to make some kind of adjustments to be with the person he/she claim to love and want.IF this is normal how should the non addicted person handle this woithout casuing undue stress to the "recoveryee"?


It's important that in order for your partner to have a successful recovery that their time be consumed with their recovery but that doesn't mean that you have to lose yourself in their recovery you can actually involve yourself in their process by accompanying them to their meetings so that you both benefit from the meeting you can understand how much of a struggle it's going to be and they will see that they have a support system in you. Being involved with a person who is an addict takes a strain on your relationship. Your partner is likely unable to be there for you because they are occupied in the recovery process, you will always take second to that process. Communication is a must right now in order to get pass this. You can talk to your partner or a trusted friend and family member about your emotions and your struggles as well. Just keep in mind, not everyone will understand or be able to relate to the issues you are facing.


Also it may help for you to join a support group. Al-Anon, is an excellent program and holds meetings all over the world. It is designed for partners, friends, and family members of alcoholics, and the principles can apply to other addictions. In a support group, you will be able to share your story and struggles with others who know exactly what you are talking about and you can feel less isolated it can make a big difference in your feelings of well being. It's important for you not to lose yourself in your partner's recovery focus on your own wants, needs, desires, and dreams. As much as you want to support and help your partner, recognize that being an individual and having your own goals and aspirations is a must in order for you to be strong for not only yourself but your partner during this difficult time.

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