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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21387
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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hello i just need some advice please im attending a recovery

Resolved Question:

hello i just need some advice please im attending a recovery place for three months called wahine wa ora for women alcohol free im seeing a lady named tessa once a week and she is absoutely fantastic

part of the programme is also dance class on a tuesday which she runs and her and i often dance together in front of the others cause she experienced and so am i

wat i am getting at is i would like to ask her out for coffee as a friend as i would like her friendship could someone advise how i do that please or is it ok as i couldnt imagine not doing that please help and i am not gay
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
HiCustomer and thanks for your question.

If you're seeing Tessa once weekly as a counselor or for therapy sessions, do you think she would be permitted to go out for coffee with you, as a friend, if she is your counselor. There may be rules governing this, at the recovery place, so perhaps you should ask someone in administration, first, and you don't have to use any names, just ask a 'general' question.

If it's alright with the place and not against the rules, I see nothing wrong with asking her to go for coffee and wanting to develop a closer friendship with her. I'd advise saying, "Tessa, if you're free one morning (afternoon) next week, would you like to join me for coffee at [name of cafe/restaurant]?" Or, you could say to her, before Tuesday, "Tessa, are you free on Tuesday, after dance, to grab a coffee with me?" Keep it simple, and see what she has to say.

If she feels uncomfortable going for coffee with you, because you're basically in a counselor/client relationship now, she'll decline, and you shouldn't feel badly; it's not because she may not want to become friendlier with YOU, it's the situation that's preventing her from accepting your invitation.

I hope things go well.

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