replied 8 years ago.
Married 8 years, together 12. Threesome came about out of my fantasy, and it involved a man. Nothing homosexual. My wife and I had watched some porno movies and after watching it a couple times (two men one woman) she kinda took a liking to it. I told her i'd like to do that with my best friend Kenny. At first she said no, not with him! And she wanted to just go to a random bar and pick up a man. I told her it would have to be with Kenny cause i trust him and I woudlnt worry about anything afterward. We went on a fishing trip, meeting kenny out at the beach, and I asked my wife if she wanted to that night. Shesaid "ahhh, but its kenny". Once again I told her that thats the only person i could do it with, and she agreed with me. It basically went to first base, then we (my wife and I) wanted to go to a hotel. Kenny said he was time restricted and he couldnt. He wanted to do it in the car. Wife said no. I said "not in the car?" she said no, lets get a hotel. Kenny said he couldnt again and lets do it in the car. He was in the back, my wife in front. I said to her "why dont you go back there and play with him a little". She said again, not in the car. He said he coudnt go to a hotel room, so we packed up and went home. On the way home she called him 4 times almost begging him to just come to our house on his way home then. And that was something we both said we woudlnt do, at our home. I think she waited six months to tell me, I have no idea why. Shes never been a great communicator. She went on a trip to arizona for a week alone in april, and at the end of her trip, she called me and told me she was done with me. When she came back, she called and asked to be picked up at the airport. I aksed if she wanted me to get her mom or step dad (second step dad, not the abuser) to pick her up, she said that I could get her. I dressed in a suit, brought roses, and dressed daughter up (Shes 4) and got her flowers for mommy. And that is one of the biggest things she says now was mentally and emotionally abusive of me. To pick her up and make her mind go "topsy turvy". That same night i picked her up, she told me that she had had a crush on the neighbor for 5 months. And she started freaking out saying my mother said she was going to kill her, and that she was scared. Told me that my mother had nanny cameras around the house, and she was sick cause she liked to watch us have sex. She told me that same night also that the neighbor she had a crush on that she had never talked to him, but wrote a letter that night saying: Jason,this may seem strange, but I think my mother in law is trying to kill me and my husband has a child with another woman and left it on his back doorstep. Very weird. All this is so strange to me like a mental problem. I asked her if we could at least see a marriage counsleor, she agreed reluctantly. Second week of the marriage counseling, 4/28/09, the counselor starting realizing an oddity with my wife. How she acted and stuff. She asked my wife if anythign had happened to her as a child, and my wife told her what happened. Other than that counselor, I was the only one she told ever. Then, on 5/1/09, she was crying in bed at night, and i asked what was wrong. She told me she couldnt get the picture of walking in on her step dad and her sister being raped out of her head. (my wife was like 8 or 9, her sister was 12 or so. He did this to both of them, and my wifes sister did come out and tell thats how it stopped. But my wife always denied that he did anything to her, even to her family) She said she had to get out of our house for a bit and went to her moms. She came home about 2 hours later, pissed at me, telling me that I was mentally abusive to her and how much i abuse her. I was shocked. It just seemed strange to me that she finally comes out with what happened to her, then crying and was having flashbacks of one of the things she saw, then comes home and now im an abuser. (she alwasy blames me picking her up at the airport, and the threesome attempt.) She had the affair, with the neighbor, the next night, 5/2. There is so much more to this story its nuts. If you have any more questions i'll answer anything. Im so confused. And yes, I am seeing a therapist alone now, and she is as well. But I dont think shes giving the therapist the whole story. Thanks.