How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Cher Your Own Question
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21416
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Cher is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I guess I do not want to end up hating him but the lies just

Customer Question

I guess I do not want to end up hating him but the lies just continue. I have talked to him on and off for six years about this and we get nowhere. He was still calling gay sex lines in March - saying he does it after an arguement and it isnt about sex? He refuses to say what they talk about - nothing, rubbish he says? With the gay porn and the magazines and the sex lines and the guy in his flat and the way that although sex has been good in the past the kissing has never been right - He even told me he had sex with a guy and made up an elaborate story and then said he hadnt he only said that because I kept saying he wouldnt know if he was gay unless he tried it. So he said it to shut me up. I feel upset and used and I do not want to hate him. I want to be happy and want him to be. The lies just mess me up though because there have been so many whenever we discuss it he gets angry, he rarely shows emotion - is it because he is? I think I know I just need to know I am not mad :0(
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.

It sounds like you're angry and resentful BECAUSE of the lying. He's obviously having a hard time accepting this about himself and although there is mounting evidence, he continues to lie to you about it.

Try to move on and not hate him because he can't help who he is and he didn't do this to intentionally hurt you. If you hate being angry with him, stop. Tell him you accept who he is, and you want him to be happy, but you deserve happiness, too. You need to do what's best for yourself.

If you're not already seeing a counselor, this would be a good next step. You can talk everything out in person with an experienced therapist and feel better about himself and about you.