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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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Ive never had a serious boyfriend and Im 31 years old. Im

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I've never had a serious boyfriend and I'm 31 years old. I'm afraid I'll be single the rest of my life. I've tried everything including on line dating. I get a lot of guys that want to sleep with me but they don't want to take it any further than that.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


As we get older, the harder it gets to meet the right person. So much time is spent these days on online dating that people have almost forgotten how to meet someone face to face and go on a date with an actual person. Instead of concentrating your energies into getting them, use that time and energy to make them want you instead. Remember that if you think that they're so fabulous, chances are other people do too but to concentrate on making yourself the person that stands out from all the rest, you have to keep an air of mystery. Don't let it all fly out the first time you meet someone you think you may be interested in. This will only bores them, let them want to meet you again to find out more. Let them have questions about who you are and what you do, to wonder about you. Also, keep an open mind, your good-looking, intelligent, popular, ideal person, may just be intelligent and average looking so don't just look at the outside make sure they have some attractiveness on the inside also. However, if your mind is locked on false hopes, you're in danger of letting your soul-mate slip out of your hands, and while you're still looking ten years from now, he would be making someone else happy instead of you.


Don't, look for your prospective partner at a club, pub, bar. The kind of person you'll meet here is the kind of person looking for part-time relationships. No one looking for a potential spouse/partner intends to find them there. Also don't think that everyone you meet is a potential long-time partner. No one wants to feel as if they're being tied down at their first encounter with someone. Everyone wants to experience the freshness of 'will it won't it' with their encounters, and likes to build up a romantic relationship slowly. Don't ask them to reveal too much about themselves to start with. There are things people would rather keep private. When they trust you, they'll volunteer the information without you having to ask. They'll feel better about this and may feel threatened if you seem to pry too much into their personal life. Also do not look for the perfect person in your head when you start out. Keep in mind that the person in your head is someone you've made up and is not real. Of course do not compromise your standards on important things like personality traits, but remember that no one can look perfect on the outside.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
My question is why I'm never good enough for anyone.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


It may be that you are meeting the wrong kinds of guys what you need to do is write down five to ten characteristics you want in a man and if the guys you meet do not meet half or more of those characteristics then don't even bother dating them. Alot of men you meet online and in person are only looking for fun and sex and not a serious relationship if you let them know what you are looking for when you first meet that may make them run for the hills because some men are not looking for that kind of serious relationship and usually it happens over time. You may not be setting your standards very high so maybe try looking for someone that has the same interests and goals that you do that can help you weed out the bad from the good next time. You may be thinking that you are not good enough for them but in all actuality they are not good enough for you!

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
But these guys eventually do end up with girlfriends so, they just picked someone over me...
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


You could be making the mistake of wanting too much too soon whereas these other girlfriends go with the flow and wait for them to be ready you have to look at how you approach the relationship at the beginning if you are moving too fast to soon this could be why you may be feeling not good enough. You may need to change your approach at the beginning of the relationship and how fast of a pace you go, try going slower make the man feel comfort to stay with you longer if they feel pressured they will run.

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