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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21333
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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Hi I am a little confused about my boyfriend. We have been

Resolved Question:

Hi I am a little confused about my boyfriend. We have been in a long distance relationship for about four months. The first month was really great we communicate very and have a lot fundamental values in life we share. Hes said that he wants to pursue the relationship and see how far it can go he thinks we make a great team. Hes been going through a tough time at work and the project is supposed to end July 31. He is stressed and did make note that whenever he is stressed out he shuts down completely. Problem now is that the last time we spoke was on July 6th it is now July 21, he send an e mail a week ago saying he was sorry for the silence and would call, and noted he was under a lot of pressure. More to this he has admittedly told me that he is frustrated that he cannot spend enough time with me at the moment but his hands are tied now and does not want to lose me for now. We have vacation plans for August should I just wait till the end or has he walked away and cant say it?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.

May I ask your ages?

Have you met in person yet, or plan this for August?

Do you know if he's ever been married?

Do you usually communicate through email, or have you also spoken on the phone?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Hi Cher,

Yes I am 31 and he is 43 years old.


Yes we have met a couple of times in April adn May and to be honest the connection was really good it felt like wearing an old pair of shoes. He was goign to start this huge project at work which is supposed to end on july 31st hopefully. He did not realize the demands on his time it would have and he admittedly told me that and that he was having a had time balancing things at the moment and that this project was a means to an end for him for now. He also apologized for not giving me enough attention and made it very clear that he care about me and still wants to spend time with me but right now it was difficult, hence the plans for august and possibly two otehr trips in sept and oct.


We are planning to go on vacation on 26th August, he invited me to his house on that day then we take off the next morning.


Yes he has been married and is divorced now.


We usually talk over the phone quite frequently except for this month. We last spoke on july 6th he said he would call on the following day but did not. He send a short e mail on july 14 telling that he was really feeling the pressure that eveything was happening all at once at work and so was just crashing when he got home at night.He said he would call that night if he made it back into town at a decent hour and that was the last I heard from him.

Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hi again, and thanks for your reply with additional information.

Because he has been so busy with this work project and a deadline of July 31, I would give him the benefit of the doubt for the moment, and see how things progress after his project is finished and you are able to be together again, in person.

If your connection was so strong and favorable, it's most likely that you haven't heard from him as much as before and as much as you'd both like, due to his work constraints. I would suggest that you continue to email him every few days, and tell him what you've been doing, let him know you're thinking of him and are happily anticipating being able to speak to him again, when he finishes his project and seeing him, on the 26th of August. Tell him you realize it will be difficult for him to answer, due to his busy schedule, but you just wanted to let him know you were thinking of him and he shouldn't feel obligated to write back, until he has the time. This way, you'll put no pressure on him, but let him know you're still there and nothing has changed re: your feelings (don't say this in words, you're just implying it in your email).

I hope everything works out well, and you do go on your vacation in August!

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