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How do you move on after haivng an eptopic preganncy, split

from boyfriend cause he ran...
How do you move on after haivng an eptopic preganncy, split from boyfriend cause he ran to another women whilst i was having a second prodceedure 3 weeks later due to cysts and blood clot where tube was taken??? Somedays are extremely hard. He also is in another country and regrets his actions (of course) and is seeking forgiveness so he can find peace.
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Answered in 24 minutes by:
7/15/2009
KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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It's time for you to move on from him, if he couldn't stay with you through the most toughest time in your life then you don't want to be with him even if you do forgive him don't fall into his emotional trap again. You want someone that is going to stay with you no matter what it is that you go through and your ex just isn't that person for you. First you have to get your mind to the point that you are ready to move on, one of the hardest things one can go through is to lose not only a baby but a boyfriend also. For so many women who have experienced this, it is extremely difficult to understand what went wrong. Your mind and body goes through a whirlwind of changes and everything you had planned for goes down the drain. In many cases you even feel like you were a failure. It's very tough especially when you're holding on to somebody and you can't just let go of the feelings for that person. It's even unbearable if it's a case of failed and unresolved love.

 

I believe that moving on starts with accepting the failed relationships, moving on begins with accepting the fact that it's over, it starts with recognizing the fact that you're not for each other. Thinking that somebody better is meant for you is a healthy way of dealing with the pain but it doesn't mean you go right out and try to find that, acceptance paves the way for the healing process. As far as your mind is concerned it may be time for you to seek counseling for not only the lost of your baby but the loss of the love of your life. Moving on also means letting go of your broken dreams. When you're in love with a person, you plan your future with them. You see yourself doing things together, even to the point of growing old together. I think this why most people find it hard to let go. Get used to the fact that you will no longer be with him and share your dreams and future with him. Allow yourself to reconnect with friends and occupy your time with other things like hobbies, hanging out more with friends, work more, take your attention and mind away from the ex for a bit.

 

Allow yourself the grieving process of losing a child even though you never got to see the baby you still had a life inside of you so don't try to forget the pain of losing a child deal with it and allow yourself to grieve like anyone else that losing a loved one also grieve the fact that your relationship is over also and you deserve better than you have gotten from him in the past and while you went through your rough time, instead of working together to get past this he chose to leave you and be with someone else and now that his conscience won't let him get past what he did to you he need for you to forgive him don't forgive him because he wants you to only forgive him if you are ready to get past what happened.

KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago

Whats the dfference between accepting and forgiving. I don't wish him any harm and will cherish what we had when were together but simply cannot accept his behaviour, u are right i do deserve better.

 

I worry because I don't believe I attracted all this, I really was in good form and when we were together we were very happy. We both wanted this baby very much. The negativity in me only came when I was pregnant and I believe that was my body telling me something was wrong. I hope this was only one of those things where fate has stepped in for whatever reason.

Customer

 

Accepting it more of you accept and action or what happens and forgiving means that you forgive the person that wronged you which is much harder to do than accepting that they did it to you. I do believe that God knows what we can and cannot handle and he may have known that your boyfriend wouldn't be devoted to you and the child, you don't have to accept his behavior but forgiving him will allow you to move on without regrets or wish you did things differently. In order to move on forgiveness is one of the determinating factors as to how to move on. Allow yourself to move on with a clear conscience even if you will never forget what he did to you and how he deserted you that will help you never to go back to that same situation and if you are worried about the eptopic pregnancy happening again ask you Doctor if it is possible.

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Customer reply replied 8 years ago

Yes I had a funny feelin that God knew that and my baby didn't wish to experience that. Well I have told him he will need to find his own peace as forgiving him will only be to release me and I hope I get there soon as I wish to feel happy and joyful again.

 

I feel in my heart i will have no problems in the furture with pregnancy so am not worried about that. What concerns me is I keep attracting men who are unfaithful and i do not wish to go through this again. Although I feel his actions were a reaction to the lose of the baby and other stresses. I know he went looking for comfort, he literally told me every step of the way. Where as my other x's were just all deceiptful. I truly hope I do not continue on this path I cannot take anymore and was in a very good place with myself.

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Customer reply replied 8 years ago

Thanks so much..

Customer

 

You're Welcome and Good luck to you!

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