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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21332
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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My husband and I have been married for 4 1/2 years. We dated

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My husband and I have been married for 4 1/2 years. We dated for 5 years previous as I was divorced with a daughter. This is his first marriage and he was 42 when we married. His personality is charming except his expectations are that I work and keep the house in order. This includes regular maintenance duties - yard, furnace filters, plumbing leaks, etc....
I knew that my husband was not a neat and orderly person as when we dated his apartment was scary but as we went through premarital counseling, we discussed having to compromise and splitting the duties of house and I was willing to relax my neatness tendencies and he would have to improve.

Now the other factor is his health. He had a heart attack at age 44 and I had to rush him to the emergency room and 2 years after that a pacemaker was implanted. I feel guilty and worried about asking him to help.

I have tried to communicate my frustrations to my husband my he just says he is lazy and I knew this when I married him.
Hello, and thanks for your question.

It would be a good idea to remind your husband of your counseling sessions when he agreed to compromise and split the duties of the house fairly, so no one person would be overwhelmed.

If your husband is still working and you're able to swing it financially, try to hire someone to help with the more strenuous household duties you either can't do or don't have time to do. You can hire professionals for the most important jobs and consider local college or High School students for others, like your yard work, etc.

Try to get back into marriage counseling to talk out your problems and get a professional perspective on how best to compromise, under the 'new' circumstances, re: your husbands health concerns, and resolve them in the best way possible.

I wish you both much good luck.

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