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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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I have been in my relationship for 1 year and a half and i

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I have been in my relationship for 1 year and a half and i am just not happy anymore. I am at the point where I just do not want to try anymore. We have a 2 month old son together and that is the only thing that has made me stay so far. I do not want him to take my son away from me. I do not know what to do. My son is the only thing that brings me any happiness.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.



-What are your ages?


-How long have you been together?


-Do you want to make the relationship work?


-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
I am 21 he is 23

we have been together for 1 year and a half

I am at the point where I feel like I just do not care. I do not want to try anymore.

We have a 2 month old together and he has a son from a previuse relationship that is 15 monthes or so. I get st irritated with my boyfriend and it is almost like he dosent even need to do anything I get irritated with everything. I do not want to be intimate anymore. It is not that I am not attracted to him and not even that he is bad at he is very good but I do not want sex at all. When he comes home I find myself wishing he would just leave go to his family's or something and just leave me and our son alone. It seems to get worse on days his son is with us. I get so irritated with my boyfriend. He complains that he misses him when he doesn't have him but when he does he dosent spend time with him, he is always trying to put him down for a nap so he can sleep, when he is awake he gets on his computer and his son starts to act up because he wants his fathers attention and wants him to play with him but he wont he puts cartoons on for him and gets back on the computer, then he never buys anything for our son not his formula or diapers or clothes nothing. But for his son every time he goes to the store he buys him something and if he dosent have the money for it he is asking me to buy it for him. I feel like he loves his first born more. He complains that I never let him hold our son but then when I ask him too he complains like it is a burden. When we do get along it feels more like we are room mates or friends. But most of the time we fight or get irritated with each other really easy. I do not want somebody eles I am not even talking to anyone eles I just want to be a single mom. I do not want hi m to take my son away from me. I do not feel he should have any access to him at all if we separate. He was ashamed of him before he was born he did not want anyone to know I was pregnate. He did not buy him anything all his stuff we got from my family and friends. He did not even want me to have a baby shower. Then when he was born he did not even want my family to even be at the hospital tell after he was born. I take care if him all the time he never helps me. I buy all his food diapers wipes toys clothes and so on. I just do not know what to do.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


It doesn't seem like it's just one thing that bothers you about your boyfriend it seems like there is MANY things about him and his mannerisms that bother you on a daily basis, from the way he buys nothing for your son but gets his son from the previous relationship everything or doesn't spend quality time with either of his sons and would rather be on the computer or doing something else also the fact that you have to do everything without having a break from your son. What you have to do is communicate how you are feeling and the things that bother you instead of holding inside to fester inside of you. Communication is the most important aspect of any relationship. If anything is bothering you in your relationship then it is important that you bring it up and discuss it with your boyfriend. Holding it in and trying to ignore it is only going to make you resent him after a while and I think that you are at that point now, which can lead to a break up very quickly. Sometimes communication can be quite difficult for many reasons. Maybe you simply don't want to hurt their feelings, or you are uncomfortable talking about what is bothering you. No matter why you are unhappy with the relationship, you need to find a way to tell your boyfriend how you are feeling about everything.


If you feel unable to speak with him face to face or are afraid it will cause a verbal fight, you can always try writing down your feelings in a letter. This gives you a chance to get your feelings out there in the open and put a lot of thought into how you are wording it. Give this letter to your boyfriend, and then follow it up with a serious conversation about the issues and how you feel like you are at the end of your rope. Finding out how to save your relationship cannot be done if you don't communicate with him. If you want to fix the relationship then you will need to talk to each other, make compromises, and speak rationally or your relationship will not make it. If you have tried to talk it out or told him how you feel and you feel like you just want to leave and are sure that is what you want to do then you have to be sure that you do not want to try with the relationship anymore. Breaking up on a positive note may seem like impossible. It's really important for both you to go about it the right way. It is never easy to end a relationship but if you are not happy and you feel that things aren't going to change then you have to do what is best for you and your son together you don't want to end up hating each other later on down the line. So make sure the relationship definitely cannot be salvaged before you make the decision to walk away but also make sure that you can keep your sanity for the sake of your child also. Don't take the drastic step of breaking up unless you are very sure that this is what you want to do. Think through your decision very carefully. If you really just want to change some things about your relationship then think of ways to fix it instead of breaking up.

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