Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

This answer was rated:

What should I do Is he interested or not

There is a guy who...

There is a guy who showed interest in me, he comes to talk to me when he sees me in college, always looks at me and smiles when he is with friends ( which most of the time he is with them) but he didnt ask me for my number. I thought he fears rejection and since it was the last day in college, and I will not get chance to see him again, i then decided to ask him for help to look for a place for my brother (just to get his number) . I didn't want it to look obvious I want him, but he asked me for for my number instead and said we will keep in touch.He rang me the same day .I didnt keep the conversation going I was nervous. We talked a bit and he told me he would like to hear from me and that I should not prolong my absence.I also then reminded him of the help I asked him and he said he will ask his friends for info.I saw him the next day I was with a friend i wasnt looking very nice so i was just smiling to him and he was smiling but i didnt stop to chat with him ( he was coming toward us). After 9 days i rang him he said he didnt talk to me when he saw me in town because i was with my friend and he didnt want to embarass me i told him its o.k . I kept the conversation going this time teased him , laugh at his jokes .I asked him if he have news of a place and he said no (I just asked him any news and he thought I am asking about the place for my brother i asked him find)I then told him it was nice talking to you and let me hear from you and he said sure. He didnt call me and after 2 weeks i saw him in town we started talking and he asked me if he didnt embarass me wen he saw me with my friend by coming towards me and smiling i said not at all . He said he is confused about it and he just doesn't want to embarass me when I am with friends. We talked and he said i would like to keep in touch with you and know you better but I am not sure if its o.k with you or not. I told him its o.k with me .Its 8 days now and he hasnt called me. I am really confused with his behaviour. I don't understand him. What should I do? Please advice.
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 1 day by:
7/3/2009
Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21,676
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Verified
Hello again, Malka.

It sounds like he does want to continue talking with you and seeing you more often, but he is shy and wants to make sure you are agreeable to his advances, so he doesn't feel rejected if he approaches and you indicate you don't want to talk to him.

You both sound like considerate people who care about the feelings of others, so it was nice that he asked you first, if it was alright if he rang you and alright if he spoke to you while you were with your friends.

It IS curious that he's asked more than once if he could ring you, has your number, and yet hasn't called you. Since you called him last time and he didn't mind, do this again, now, and see what his reaction is. Call with the pretense that you're asking about the place for your brother and then start talking about other things. If there is an event coming up that you could invite him to attend with you, like a concert, a movie, etc., then ask him if he'd like to go with you. Or, just ask him if he's free on a certain day, and go have a picnic in the park or go to a museum, etc. The point is, ask him to do something with you, but have something specific in mind.

Hopefully, once you start seeing him and speaking to him on a more steady basis, he will get over his initial shyness and feel more comfortable with you, and you with him!

I wish you much good luck and hope everything works out well.

Cher
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Relist: I still need help.
Hi again, Malka.

Do you have additional questions I can help you with?
Please let me know.

Thanks,
Cher
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 9 years ago
Relist: I prefer a second opinion.
Customer reply replied 9 years ago

Dear Cher,

 

I haven't rang the guy yet. I was just not sure if i still have to mention about the place for my brother. It just might make him feel bad that he couldn't help me with this problem. He is very busy with his final dissertation in university. He is also sharing a flat with his friends( he told me that before) I don't know how many of them. I feel that he might be thinking I want my brother also to share with them a place ( I told him he will be coming soon from our country to study) because he is a student and it will be cheaper. we are all from the middle east and in europe now for studies and I think he feels its a problem he can't help me because his friends might not want anymore people in the house.I have told him also I share a flat with other students (girls). Also the other thing because we are coming from different arabic countries our dialects are diffrent and its really difficult for me to understand his dialect. When he knew he started talking in standard arabic so I can understand but that is very formal and I always laugh about it. I also started talking to him mostly in english now and when we met last time he also spoke a word from his dialect again that i don't understand and we had a laugh but then he said thats why i want to talk yo you in standard arabic. I also mentioned to him that I was brought up in africa thats why i can't understand other arabic dialects. I start thinking now does he feel uneasy because of the place for my brother I asked and if I should mention it again or because of the language. Please advice me.

Hi again, Malka.

If you feel speaking about the place for your brother again, will make him feel uncomfortable, then don't mention it; under the circumstances, if you think he will feel 'put upon' to invite your brother to live in his place, but there really isn't room, then I agree, it would not be a good idea to bring it up again.

As far as the 'language' barrier, if you could both speak in English, this would solve the problem, but if he feels more comfortable speaking in standard Arabic, and you do understand it, although it's technically considered 'formal', it will probably just be temporary, but at least it will allow you to understand each other.

There's 'non-verbal' communication also, with gestures, and actions, so if you can let him know, in any of these ways, that you'd like to just spend time with him, go for a coffee, etc., you will find a good way to communicate. Also, if there should be anyone you know who speaks both your dialects, you can ask them to 'translate' for you, so nothing is misunderstood. However, the 'fun' and enjoyment of all this is, you will be discovering more about each other and conquering your language barrier. Stick to English when you can, as you are fluent in it, and hopefully he knows a little, or more, and you will help him learn, if he needs help. Just 'being' together, spending time, for the moment, should be nice, and you shouldn't have to worry about language. You'll each be able to be understood by the other.

Cher
Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21,676
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Verified
Cher and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Was this answer helpful?

How JustAnswer works

step-image
Describe your issueThe assistant will guide you
step-image
Chat 1:1 with a counselorLicensed Experts are available 24/7
step-image
100% satisfaction guaranteeGet all the answers you need
Ask Cher Your Own Question
Cher
Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21,676
21,676 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor

Cher is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,741 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

427 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

377 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
I just finished my sophomore year of college. i took a class
hi! i just finished my sophomore year of college. i took a class in my first semester of this past year in which i became friends with a senior boy. he would sit with me everyday, asked for my number,… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
I'm going to try and make this as short as possible and if
My name is ***** ***** I'm going to try and make this as short as possible and if anyone would like to hear more or ask me more questions, that would be great. I had a very good male friend, (I will c… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
961 satisfied customers
I have known this man + years. When we first met, I was 23
I have known this man for 20+ years. When we first met, I was 23 and he was 34. He had already been married and divorced. Before we could even begin a relationship, his ex informed him that she was pr… read more
Martin
Martin
Electrical engineer
Bachelor's Degree
486 satisfied customers
Hello, I will try my best to explain my odd situation. I met
Hello, I will try my best to explain my odd situation. I met my friend Jared in college and I met him when I was 19. I'm 21 now and he's 27. It started off as a normal friendship, He sought me out fir… read more
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Adjunct Professor
Master's Degree
1,014 satisfied customers
Please help me to at least try to understand my boss behaviour
Please help me to at least try to understand my boss' behaviour towards me. I've worked with him for approx 3.5 yrs, he is a fair bit older than me and single. Things changed approx. 2 yrs ago when i … read more
Dear Debra
Dear Debra
Advice Columnist
Earning Associate degree
1,299 satisfied customers
For the past year my husband, who is now 40, has emotionally
For the past year my husband, who is now 40, has emotionally been pulling away from me. We have a daughter who is now 4. I knew that things were not going so well because he continued to go out every … read more
Dear Debra
Dear Debra
Advice Columnist
Earning Associate degree
1,299 satisfied customers
hear is my problem we met as friends stated dating we didnt
hear is my problem we met as friends stated dating we didnt start kissing for a couple months into the relationship and i let her instigate it she told me i could kiss her on the cheek to start , she … read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
When i noticed the new guy liked me at work, I was surprised
When i noticed the new guy liked me at work, I was surprised as he had never spoke to me and frankly i dont know what i did that was special for me to stand out in the first place! well it took him 3 … read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
Ive been single for the last 4 years. Meet someone in December,
Ive been single for the last 4 years. Meet someone in December, he great. At first i wasn't that into him but he kind of grew on me. But their was never instant spark like past exs were i was really e… read more
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
Master\u0027s Degree
3,517 satisfied customers
My ex boyfriend broke up with me December last year but we
My ex boyfriend broke up with me December last year but we would still see each other twice a week at work (we work together). It's now August and i still love him even though we only dated 4 months. … read more
Walter
Walter
Just Answer Consultant
6,024 satisfied customers
Im in college and i met this guy last semester but didnt really
Im in college and i met this guy last semester but didnt really talk that much we just said hi to each other.This semester he offered to give me a ride home and while talking he told me that i was bea… read more
Cher
Cher
Relationship Enthusiast
Masters Degree
21,676 satisfied customers
My ex and I have been apart for about 4 months now and I have
My ex and I have been apart for about 4 months now and I have been missing him like crazy. We were serious for about a year and dated for two. He was there for me when my cat passed away and I was the… read more
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
Life Coach
853 satisfied customers
Hi. I have been good friends with this guy for a very ...
Hi. I have been good friends with this guy for a very long time... I have never considered him as more than just friends. Recently i started noticing that he makes all these comments in front of peopl… read more
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
Life Coach
853 satisfied customers
hi my husband and i just recently got a blow to our
my husband &got a blow to our relationship. he went to see a lady friend of ours&her husband but he wasnt home. he started asking her personal questions, which the lady thought was 2invasive on her pr… read more
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
Life Coach
853 satisfied customers
Ugh, this is kind of embarassing. Im 23 and I feel ...
Ugh, this is kind of embarassing. I'm 23 and I feel like I am 12 again. I have a crush on someone who works in the same building as me. I don't see him that often, he's only in my general area for may… read more
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
Life Coach
853 satisfied customers
How do I get my boyfriend to understand that I was raped
How do I get my boyfriend to understand that I was raped? He keeps saying that I cheated because I didnt report it to the cops! What do I do? This is really bothering me because I am not that type of … read more
Ms Chase
Ms Chase
Life Coach
853 satisfied customers
im 18 and iv been with my boyfriend for 6 years on the ...
im 18 and iv been with my boyfriend for 6 years on the 24th of this month. he broke up with me a month a go but even though he said he did it because our familys didnt like each other he still often w… read more
KimberlyF
KimberlyF
High School or GED
554 satisfied customers
i have a problem i have known this kid for quite awhile
I HAVE A PROBLEM! I have known this kid for quite awhile. Our friendship took kind of a turn about 6 months ago when he started showing me a different kind of attention. We started "talking" and anyon… read more
Coolchics
Coolchics
Teacher
Master's Degree
286 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x