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robert baker
robert baker, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 128
Experience:  i am a couples councelor
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my boyfriend and i have been dating for 7 months now, the first

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my boyfriend and i have been dating for 7 months now, the first 3 months were great we would talk, laugh, and spend pretty much all our time together. he would even text message me throughout his work day. then after the 3 months he went to jail for 4 months, i stayed by his side the whole time and we would talk on a daily or every other day basis, i would visit him about 2 weekends a month and the visits were good we would talk and laugh the whole time, hold hands during. last week he was released from jail and now he seems really distant, he ignores many of my calls and texts, when i hang out with him its like im not even there, but he will talk to his roomate, he gives really short answers to my questions, and he hardely ever laughs with me now, i asked him if he and i were okay and he said that we were, that he just has alot on his mind. i dont know what i should do to try and get him to open up to me again, and i want to know if we are okay and its just an adjustment thing?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  robert baker replied 8 years ago.
This is a tough situation, i would suggest you give it a little bit more time maybe 2 weeks or so and then reassess the situation. After being locked up for 4 months he has missed out on a lot. Being in jail you become institutionalized, you still had fun and laughed at the visits because that was one of the few things he had to look forward to each week. When you first enter into a relationship you always try to start out on a good foot maybe even act a certain way so things go well. The person you are seeing now when you look at him could be the real him shining through or it could be he just needs a little time to take care of himself first before he can refocus and concentrate you and your happiness. Dont push him into being what you want him to be or try and get him to go back to what he use to be. Either he will start caring again or you should end the relationship. You only have 7 months invested and it is not to late to get out with out to much drama. I know a lot of people who stayed together because things were great in the beginning and they always thought they could get back to that but its not reality, Then the woman gets pregnant and now they are just together for the kids and the next 18 years are miserable. Do not let yourself get stuck in this position. Give him a little more time and if nothing changes move on i promise you will be happier in the end best of luck please accept pay and feedback thank you bonus always appreciated
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
the confusing thing about my situation is he says he loves me and that he cares, which i think he does because when we go to bed he is the one to initiate cuddling and i got him a promise ring which he wears everyday, the thing im having a hard time understanding is why he can be himself around his parents and his roommate but not me. with the ignored calls and texts i dont know if i should continue to call him or just wait for him to come to me. i love him and i want to be there for him, i just want to find a way to talk to him and figure out what is going on in his head, and know if its me or if its just the internal issues he is sorting through. im worried that maybe he isnt happy with me for some reason, i really dont want to end the relationship because he is a really great guy and we had fun... even now when im in his silence im still happy, just a little unsatisfyed.
Expert:  robert baker replied 8 years ago.
The i would suggest you give him some time, When he went to jail you stood by him and that is all someone in that position can ask for. You wrote him, put money on the phone and his commisary and went to visit. He should appreciate you and want to do for you when he first gets out of jail, he should not be ignoring you and acting as if he does not care. My honest opinion is he is not into you as much as you are into him but if you really want to be with him just give it some time and see what happens. Do not be overly needy or pushy with him right now as all this will do is push you both further apart. Just tell him you are here and you would like hime to care more but you will wait for him to work out the things he is dealing with right now. If you have any other questions please ask
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