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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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I have been married for 21 years and my husband and I dont

Customer Question

I have been married for 21 years and my husband and I dont click in the bedroom. He isnt interested in sex as often as I am. I have tried to spice it up with toys, nighties and dirty talk to no avail. Recently an old boyfriend has come into the picture and I am intrigued. I have plans to visit him soon. Old boyfriend gives me the attention my husband doesnt. Should I leave my husband and try to be single and see what happens? should we seek counciling? He isnt willing to try new things. I am at a loss and so tired of being unfulfilled. Please help.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


Yes you should seek Marriage counseling as your last resort before making any major decisions about your marriage and if he does not agree to marriage counseling then the decision is yours as to how much more you are willing to take and if you want to try a trial separation but starting a relationship without finding closure in your marriage will only make things more complicated. If you are not happy and he isn't willing to get help to make things better then you have to do what makes you happy but only after you have made up your mind where your marriage is and where you want it to be. You could also have your husband talk to his doctor and see if it isn't possibly a medical condition that may be helped with medication. Try all avenues before leaving the marriage so that way if you do decide to leave your marriage you know you tried everything you possible can and can leave with a clear conscience.

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