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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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Ive been married for almost 2 years now. My husband and I

Customer Question

I've been married for almost 2 years now. My husband and I have never sat down and discussed financial issues or anything calmly. We have never sat down and planned for the future. We never talk about things like that. If I ever bring up an issue that I'm concerned about, he gets mad and says that I'm always complaining and that I nag him all the time, which is not true. How can I get him to talk to me? How can I get us to start talking about things and come to solutions together, instead of arguing?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


Communication is one of the major keys to a success marriage or relationship and if you don't have that then what you come up with is arguing and misunderstandings. Men aren't typically known for sharing their thoughts and feelings, and for the women in their lives that can be frustrating. Many men automatically go on the defense when asked by their wives if something is wrong or if the wife wants to talk about things that need to change in the relationship. There is a way to get him to talk to you without having to constantly nag him. Depending on how long you have married your husband may think that you should know him by now but there is always room for improvement and to learn something else about your mate.


Communication is the key to maintain a good marriage. When couples face communication problems in their marriage, they will also face a breakdown in their relationship. Maintaining a good communication is one of the major marriage problems that people are facing today. Many couples failed to understand the meaning of compromising with each other and this is where your marriage is at right now. You start to argue when there is a difference in opinion. Arguments are part of the marriage, an argument once in a while may let you understand each other better, but if it is a frequent thing, it is not going to keep the relationship healthy.


Sometimes, we have to understand that no two people are alike each individual is unique in their own ways in term of their personalities and perspective in life. You can solve your communication problems in marriage by trying to find an effective way to communicate. Couples should learn to accept and understand each other better by sharing of ideas and knowledge. Never try to jump to conclusions immediately or be totally against certain things. In order to communicate effectively, you have to learn how to be a good listener first. Learn to be appreciative towards each other, even if both of you have been married for years, you still can say some thankful words to your husband. I am sure your husband will feel good about you being appreciative. Try asking him what he thinks and then listen do not interrupt him while he is talking even if you disagree with him this will make him want to listen to you because you gave him the respect of listening to him. Try to keep a calm voice even if he says something that angered you. If he sees that you can remain calm he will do the same.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
I'm not satisfied with the answer. The expert just stated obvious things about marriage and communication and how important it is. I already know this.