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My boyfriend broke up with me cause he says he loves me and

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wants to see me happy...
My boyfriend broke up with me cause he says he loves me and wants to see me happy. We have been having a rough time and it has been cause of his anger, verbally mean telling me that I am weak, no humility and not humble. He says he is sorry and has realized that he hurt me and cause I am not strong enough to say I want to break it off myself he did it for me. I know he will try to get back together in the next day or two. Yes, I love him but I am confused if he is the best thing for me cause of his anger. He does not show me affection through flowers (only 2 times in 9 months and last time tonight to say he was sorry)or with any kind of trinkets, we have only been out on 5 dates the rest of the time we are at home. We are both in our 20's. We do not agree on religion or how to raise children. I am confused.....
Submitted: 8 years ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 23 minutes by:
6/21/2009
Counselor: KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert replied 8 years ago
KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
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Satisfied Customers: 750
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If you are confused then you need to take this break from the relationship to see what you want and if he is who you want. Though not everyone marries or dates someone they have alot of things in common with and some believe that opposites attract this is one case where that may not be true. You certainly do not want to marry or have a long relationship with someone that is going to verbally berate you. It will take it's toll on you over time and break you down to where you feel like you are nothing, although I don't think he is doing it to break you down but he is trying to make you stronger but going about it the wrong way. Love should not hurt in anyway but it does especially if the couple does not know how to properly communicate their feelings and what they want. The fact that you have different view on religion and child bearing is going to play a huge part in your future if you decide to have one together.

 

See how he reacts to the breakup or break that you are taking if he quickly moves on then he may not have been the one but if he comes back and asks for a second chance then you need to tell him what you need out of the relationship, you seem to do what he wants you to do and you have to change that, now is the time for you to tell him what you want and what things you want to change before you take him back. He will respect that you are finally telling him how you want the relationship to be instead of going with the flow to please him. If you want more flowers tell him that, if you want more romantic dinners tell him, if you need more affection tell him. This is the only way you are going to be happy within your relationship is if you can put your foot down and say I want this and that. We never know for sure if a person is right for us especially when they have different views than us but you're not always going to agree and that is where compromise comes in. It has to come from both sides.

 

If you both are not willing to bend a little bit then you will continue to clash on issues that are trivial. If you decide that you want to be together for the rest of your life you are going to have to compromise on religion and allow the other to raise your child the way they feel fit as long as it's not extreme there are alot of couples that don't always see eye to eye when it comes to how to raise children and disciplining them. It's going to take both communication and compromise, if you love him and think he can change if he tries as far as his verbal lashings then this relationship can be fixed but you both have to be willing to work on the things that make each other unhappy, then and only then can you both have a happier and healthier relationship.

 

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