replied 8 years ago.
Hi again, and thanks for your detailed and helpful reply.
Initially, after reading your question, and before receiving your reply, I had thought I would advise you to forget about this relationship, move on with your life and start seeing other people.
After reading your responses, I think you should give him a chance to sort out whatever is bothering him and/or causing him to come to this decision of a 'break', but put a time limit on it.
His actions and words do sound like he is sincere, and cares for you deeply. The fact that the kids love you and you all get along so well, is wonderful. Very often in divorce situations, the children will resent the father's girlfriend/mother's boyfriend, become sullen, difficult, and shout things like 'you're not my mother', etc., when discipline is warranted, or an argument occurs. They also usually play one end against the other, getting 'extra' perks from each parent, due to the divorce situation. It's just so nice to hear that the kids and you get along so well.
I believe, for now, you would do well to keep up the contact via phone, text, email and continue to play it by ear, but as I mentioned above, set a time limit for yourself; perhaps a month, if you feel that is fair. The break will give him time to figure out what he wants, or if he wants to continue his relationship with you, and it will give you the same chance, with time apart, even though you miss him, to decide what you feel will be best for you.
If after a month, he doesn't tell you anything has changed, and doesn't ask you to be part of his life, again, you may want to start seeing other people. A relationship involves two people, two personalities, two sets of feelings; his request for a 'break' was not done in a malicious manner, he obviously cares about you and you said you sort of saw it coming. That's HIS decision. Compromise is key in a relationship, so you're granting him what he so nicely requested, after he explained to you why he felt you should take a break at this time, and that was very good of you. You don't want to lose sight of what YOU want and need, and if the break he wants, expands to months, you might feel you want to see other people and be in another relationship.
If you agree that about a month is a good amount of time to be fair to him, and allow him to sort out what he needs to do, then stick to that timeline. Don't tell him that, just make it a timeline in your own mind, and see how things go.
Continue communicating, and maybe if he sees you less, he'll 'talk' more, and share some of his concerns with you, so you better understand his need for the 'break' and/or his feelings for you. If you've been with him for this long, and he does sound like a decent, caring guy, give him 4 weeks and then make a decision about where you'd like to be in YOUR life at that time, and present it to him. Let him know how you feel, but don't hang your heart on your sleeve, as that is not necessary while you're apart.
I hope things work out the way you want them to, and please let me know if you would like to discuss this further.
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