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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21414
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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I am confused on my sexuality. I am a 25 year old guy, have

Resolved Question:

I am confused on my sexuality. I am a 25 year old guy, have always been straight and have been with several women. The female body is very attractive to me and I get very turned on when I see an attractive female of if I engage in sexual activity with a female. However, recently, i have been posting very explicit ads on Craigslist, looking to give oral sex on males and having them ejaculate on me. I do not want to engage in actual sexual penetration, just oral sex. However, every time that the opportunity has presented itself, I back off realizing that I do not like men and this is not a situation I want to put myself in. However, as soon as I cancel plans to hook up with a guy, I am right back to wanting to give oral on a guy. I remember when I was between the ages of 9-14, I used to put on my mothers lingerie and pretend to seduce popular guys that I went to school with at the time. Male on male sex turns me off completely but I am confused now about whether I am gay or straight
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
HelloCustomer and thanks for your question.

From your description of your feelings and situation, you might be bisexual. If you don't want to engage in actual penetration with a guy, but other aspects of giving and receiving pleasure from a man turn you on, you might explore this facet of your thinking with someone that is willing to experiment with you and understands where you stand re: gay or bisexual male sex. Hooking up with someone from Craigslist may be dangerous, though, since you can never be sure who you are communicating with, so keep this in mind.

If women turn you on sexually, and you have engaged in sexual activities you've enjoyed, with women you've dated, thinking about giving a guy oral sex may be an old fantasy of yours, that you feel the need to fulfill, just to know if you really like it/want it. If you should accomplish this fantasy as a reality, you might decide you want to explore this further, or you might decide you fulfilled what you were thinking about, and it's out of your system.

You might not be 'only' gay or 'only' straight, and there are many bisexual men and women in the world today, who enjoy sexual encounters with both genders.

It would be a good idea for you to discuss this in person, with a counselor who specializes in helping people who may be confused with regard to their sexuality. If you contact a counselor/therapist in your area, and ask to make an appointment with a licensed professional who specializes in the situation you're dealing with, I think it will clarify a lot, for you, and help you deal with your ambivalent feelings.

I wish you much good luck, and above all, happiness.

Cher and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
I am sorry for the delay in getting back to you. I have been feeling a little under the weather and was not able to get to a computer to reply. Thank you very much for all the help and advice but I have a couple questions. I understand everything that you are saying but is it possible that I am straight and just need to live this fantasy out? Could there be a reason for this behavior because I do not find guys attractive at all and do not want to engage in penetration with them both on the recieving or giving end. Could it be a penis fetish or something else?
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hello again, and no problem re: the delay. I'm sorry you've not been feeling well, and hope you're recovered, soon!

You're most welcome; it was my pleasure to help, and thanks for your accept.

Yes, it's very possible that you could be straight and just curious about how it would feel to both give and receive oral sex with another guy. If you don't find guys sexually attractive, in general, and as you mentioned, have no desire to engage in penetration with either giving or receiving, you may have a penis fetish and this might be resolved through therapy, or as I mentioned, you might want to do it once, with someone you feel 'safe' with, and maybe once it's out of your system, you will be able to move on without obsessing over it any longer.

Cher (sending this as a 'request for information' only so you are not prompted to click 'accept' an additional time)