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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
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Had affair with married woman in 98 ended in 99, said she

Customer Question

Had affair with married woman in 98' ended in 99', said she couldnt leave him, her mom didnt beleive in divorce, told me she loved me. 2000 mutual friend tells me her and husband arent making it and divorcing. I send a card in 2002 with phone #, in case did divorce, I was in serious relationship(she was serious I was along for the ride still in love with woman from98'. She called me as soon as she got card,we talked awhile. We exchanged email adress and have been emailing back and forth ever since to now. I married girl I was with and she married guy she was seeing a year ago. We go 3 months not talking then go a few months emailing. Everytime it is filled with her love for me, how in love she is with me, how she wanted it to be dofferent, howe unhappy she is with him.This time it is much more serious, she wants, pushing, for us to meet in person after all these years, there are hints of sexual activity and passion. This would be her 2nd cheat, does she have issues?is she in love w me?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hello, and thanks for your question.

May I ask your ages?

Do you both live in the same area, now?

How do you feel about the woman you're married to now? Do you love her? How long are you married? Would you consider cheating on her? Do you have any children?

What are your feelings for the woman from the past affair, now?

Thanks for all your additional details.

Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hi again,

I think, from your description of her past behavior, that she does have issues, and although she may have feelings for you, as she says, and may even believe she's in love with you, she seems to fall in love easily and the 'excitement' of her being married and/or you being married at the same time as an affair with her, seem to turn her on.

I think she also may be in love the fact that the men she is attracted to, are unavailable.

I would never advise you to break your vows and cheat on your wife with this woman; of course, ultimately, that's your decision. However, you need to consider carefully all her past behavior, and consider everything she's saying to you now. JUST because you're not available, it sounds like the 'idea' of her love/lust for you, is growing. In my honest opinion, I wouldn't risk a marriage to have an affair with this woman, again. The fact that this would be her second cheat, reflects a lot about her, re: relationships, marriage, etc., so tread carefully.


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