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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21448
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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To whom it may concern, I have a question about my situation...I

Resolved Question:

To whom it may concern,

I have a question about my situation...I feel a little lost and I don't know how to behave.
I'm working and living for the owner of a NFL fooball team and his wife..last year, there was this football player stalking me and puching me to go out with first I was really not interested..I belong to those women who doesn't care who they are..I haven't dated anyone since 5 years..after him trying often to pursue me I gave in and went out with him..he tried to sleep with me but I didn't sleep with him in the first night..the next time I was seeing him again and I slept with him..we started seeing us more and I had a little problems sleeping with him..sometimes he didn't happen at all..
our club policy is Staff, Player and Cheerleader are not allowed to date..They found out that we're are dating and the Headcoach talked to him about it..He bagged of of me and 2 weeks ago he told me that he has a girl now and it isn't going well..I don't know how to handel this
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hello, and thanks for you question.

I'd like to get a few more details about your situation and ask you some questions, before sending you an answer.

Did you mean he 'begged' you to continue to go out with him?

If he told you he is dating another girl now, and it isn't going well, do you think he told you this because he wants you to get back together?

If you are working for and living in the house of the owner of this team, are you really considered 'staff', since you are living in the owner's house and working for him and his wife, but not really for the ball club, or are you actually an employee of the ball club?

Did the Head coach tell him that he could get thrown off the team for dating you?

Do you want to go back with him, although it's not allowed, according to the rules?

What is the situation you don't know how to handle: not being with him? Knowing he's with another girl? Knowing he wants you back? Do you not know what to say to him, if you can no longer date him?

Thanks for all your additional detail about your situation.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Hi Cher, thank you for taking your time to help finding a solution.

Yes he begged me to go out with him..I don't know why he told me it;s not going well. probably to keep me warm. meaning that if it's not working out with her then he would come back to me. I also asked him if I should move on and he said he doesn't know how long this relationship is going to last..the problem is that he soo attracted to he told me he has a girl and it is not going well and he doesn't know how long it's going to last I said that he should work it out with her and I will move on and I wished him good luck.

but yesterday for some reason I texted him saying I had a dream how he made love to me. He replied saying that he I am turning him on..

Today I found out that he is in Vegas drunk and he was at a hospital for recover.Useually I would have text him asking if he is alright but I couldn't do it..I'm soo mad at him for doing such stupid things .I'm so hurt by it's news bc I think that's soo stupid getting drunk like that..I don't know if I would like to date him anymore..But the other thing is he stil texted me yesterday even he is in Vegas.

My paycheck enrolls with the ball club..I think it automatically makes me a staff.

The headcoach told him that in respect of the owner he should not date me and he should not forget who is signing our paycheck..He also said if he doesn't want to marry me he should keep it quiet..As he met me he told everybody that's my girl that's my new girlfriend I wanted to date him sooo badly..I told him that I wished he would be my boyfriend..

I also told his friend that I'm leaving the ball club bc I moving on to something higher.

I would like to know if he wants me? If he would like to be with me? if I should give up him and move on? Is he just using me?
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hi again, and thanks for your reply with additional information.

I think you are doing a very smart thing staying away from him and telling him you hope things work out with this other woman, even though you have feelings for him. He sounds like an attractive, loving man who is not mature enough to be in a relationship right now, and I have a feeling if you pursue him, you will only get hurt. No, I don't think he was/is just using you; I do believe he may have feelings for you, but being together now, is not good for either of you.

First, you do have to remember about your job, and HIS job, because of the fact that you are not supposed to date. He should not have told everyone when you were going out.

I had the same thought as the Head coach, that if he was not planning on marrying you, he needs to stop dating you, because of the rules, and the trouble he could get into. It sounds like he finds trouble, or it finds him, easily, considering he's now in Vegas, drunk, and in a hospital. Very often, professional athletes are young, handsome and have a lot of money, so they will get into trouble with alcohol or other substances.

If it's true that you will be changing jobs, you might try again to date him, if he says he wants to, but just be careful that he is not going to get out of control again. If you don't have to worry about breaking rules, due to your job, you can give him another chance and hope he proves himself. But, let him recover from his situation in Vegas, first, then see how it goes.

You can text him to make sure he's alright, but try to keep your texts light and just as a 'friend' for the time being.

I hope things work out the way you want them too, and you will be happy!

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