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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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My ex split up with me saying she doesnt want me anymore because

Customer Question

My ex split up with me saying she doesn't want me anymore because she can't trust me. She says she wants to be friends but doesn't want a boyfriend. The reason for the mistrust is because she found sum flirty txs on my fone 1 from a girl n another from a prostitute. I never did anything with them or even met them. She never acted on it strate away, she stewed on it for a year and two months. She gets very jealous when girls are mentioned or if i say i've seen some1. She also says "I love you but I hate you At the same time". Any chance of me ever winning her back?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:


-What are your ages?


-How long have you been dating?


-Why do you feel a need to talk to other women?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
1.I am 41yrs old she is 30yrs old
2. We have been dating for 2yrs
3. i like flirting as it makes me feel wanted, being wanted by other women makes me happy when i'm in a relationship. I don't concerntrate on my relationship because i know its there so i don't try.
4. I was with my x for 7months when she looked at my phones. she mentioned the girl i had been txing but didn't mention the prostitute. I told her that i did like my x n that i wasn't interested in this girl at all. This girl use to always tx me saying meet up. But she never did. I knew this girl b4 my x. So when this girl txd me i told her that i really like her n that i want her. So i cud piss her off when she cums to meet me n i'm not there. With the prostitute i said cum down n see me jus wearing ur coat, heels n make up and nothing else. I never met this woman, it was all about fun.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


With the kind of behavior you exhibited while dating it's going to take alot for your ex to even consider taking you back, once the trust is gone in the relationship there isn't much else that can save that relationship. What you are going to have to do is sit down either by yourself or with a counselor and figure out why you need so much attention from other women, is it something from your past that you didn't get much attention as a child or in past relationships that you now crave attention from others because this is the reason your relationship didn't work out and will continue to be the end to your relationship in the future. Now to get your girl back or at least prove to her that you have change, she will actually have to see that you have changed and for the better, once you are able to figure out why you do this you will have half the battle won. If you decide to seek counseling this could be some type of proof to her that you really want to change and become a better mate she will not even consider taking you back if she thinks it's going to be the same thing she had to go through before that is why it's important for you to figure out the why and then figure out how to be in a relationship without needing attention from any other woman let alone prostitutes. Even though you never met these women and were only in it for the chase what you have to realize is that it still hurt your girlfriend and ultimately was the demise of your relationship in the end. The only way now of winning her back it proving to her that part of your life is over and you are willing to satisfied with just her in your life and not all of that added attention.

KimberlyF and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Can u tell me y she would want to be friends with me if she doesn't trust me isn't friends built on trust as well?
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


Yes but there is a different level of trust there as friends she doesn't have as much to lose as her being your girlfriend and her heart and soul is at stake in a relationship than it is in a friendship. Maybe being friends withe her will give you time to prove to her that you have or are willing to change.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Can u let me no y she would want to be friends with me if she doesn't trust me. I thought friends are based on trust?
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


There is a different type of trust with being friends she won't have to worry about you cheating on her and then her feelings being hurt because of being friends she won't have the same level of emotions invested in being your friends as she did with being your girlfriend. She doesn't feel she can have you as a boyfriend because you have proven to her over and over again that just having her in your life is not enough for you that you need attention from other people. This way having you in her life as a friends means she can still have you as part of her life without having to worry about you being faithful to her because you are only friends. She may figure having you in her life at all is much better than not having you in her life together.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Sorry i don't understand the last sentence." she may figure having you in her life at all is much better than not having you in her life together". Can u explain please?

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


I'm sorry typo what I meant to say was, " She may figure that having you in her life at all is better than not having you in her life altogether" which means something is better than nothing and this way being your friend she doesn't have to invest to much of her heart and emotions.

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