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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21421
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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my probation officer seems to be flirting with me, but i cant

Resolved Question:

my probation officer seems to be flirting with me, but i can't tell if he is really interested in me or sexually harrassing me. i do have feelings for him, but i know that as long as he is my probation officer, we can't have any kind of romantic relationship. how can you tell if a person is flirting or if they are harrassing you?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hello again, and welcome back to Just Answer.

I'm glad you realize that while he's your probation officer, you can't develop any kind of romantic relationship with him. If he seems to be flirting with you, this really wouldn't be very appropriate, either, considering his position.

If you feel the things he's saying to you are inappropriate, very sexually themed, you've asked him on more than one occasion not to speak to you that way, he touches you while he talks, and his words and actions make you feel uncomfortable, he's acting inappropriately and this would be considered sexual harassment. If he says things to you, which he wouldn't say to a male in the same position, it could be sexual harassment.

If he says things to you that are 'sweet' and compliments you in an appropriate way, has conversations with you about things you like or dislike, etc., he's most likely flirting. If you have feelings for him, but you know he's 'forbidden fruit' until he's no longer your probation officer, it might be frustrating, but you'll have to wait until you're no longer in this position, and then see if he's really interested.

If you flirt back, you're encouraging him, and at this particular time, that may not be the best thing for you to do. Just continue to be pleasant, etc., but don't encourage him, since you know you can't date him.

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