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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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I am going through a divorce, and have been dating a man for

Resolved Question:

I am going through a divorce, and have been dating a man for 10 months. My divorce should be final very soon. My boyfriend just asked me, "what we are doing" after the divorce is final, and, not knowing how to take it, i changed the subject abruptly. We were on the phone. How should I have taken his comment? Is it a sign he may want a deeper commitment?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


That could very well be a sign that he wants to take the relationship to another level and you have to be very honest with him about what you want. If you aren't quite ready to take it to another level then tell him so. If you aren't ready tell him that you want to take some time to savor your divorce finally being final and being free from your husband, tell him you still want to date him but do not want to talk about anything serious right now and ask him to give you at least six months and then ask that question again. If he truly cares about you and wants a relationship with you he will wait.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
We never talked about it before, I believe he is kind of shy with such subjects, an I even moreso. He had said once, when we first started dating, and seen the hell I was going through in the divorce, that, he's seen alot of people divorced, and that's why he "really", don't want to get married. This is why the comment took me aback.It to me seems, quite unusual for a guy to ask about the next step.I hope I didn't hurt his feelings by changing the subject.
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


If you think you may have hurt his feelings then talk to him about it and tell him that you will talk about it after the divorce is final and see what his views as well as yours are about that subject and if you are happy with the way things are for now then tell him so you don't want to get caught up in another situation. Take control of the situation now and say what you truly want. If you are possibly thinking about getting married again then maybe you should let the conversation take it's course and listen to what he has to say about what he wants and then ask him to give you some time to think about everything but don't keep him waiting.

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