Honesty is the key...........along with a little bit of attention and hard work.
The first thing you have to do is sit down and talk to her, first off be honest. Do not try to glaze this over or scrimp on the truth. Admit what you did, and about when you do it. Be firm that you have never went into chat sites or singles sites. Explain to her simply that yes you have looked at the imagine..........but you would never disrespect her or your marriage by going to a site that would cause problems in your marriage.
Once you have been honest about doing it, explain why. Now this is the touchy part........in no way should you push this off on her. If you start blaming her she is going to get defensive and angry. Simply explain to her that with all the stress in the bedroom you have been feeling a little insecure about how she feels about you and as such your have been trying to find other ways to release sexual needs without pushing her into doing something she does not want to do.
Talk this out.........there is some middle ground here.
Now if you want to change things up in the bedroom that can be done if your willing to put her needs above your own. Now I know that sounds silly........your trying to take care of your needs, so why would you put yours second place? The fact is her needs are what is preventing you from getting your needs.
Women look at sex completely different then we do. We look at it as a means to a end (The act satisfies our need) Women look at it as a action that brings your marriage to the fore front. Basically this is a action that strengthens your marriage. If she is feeling stressed or unloved she will lose her desires for sex.
Now there are things you can do to help remind her that you love her. Showing her you love her is the quickest way to help her get back in the mood.
You can do this by doing a few simple things:
Start helping out more at home, this means jump up and do the dishes. Run the vacuum cleaner or make dinner. And I do not mean just once.......considently do it for a week or more before you should expect results. If your already helping out, try to do a little extra. She will ask you why you are doing this.....simply tell her you love her and want to help her out.
If you have kids take a more active role in spending time with them. Maybe offer to take them to the park, or out in the yard while she takes a bath or catches up on a good book or movie.
Bring home flowers.......or a jar of her favorite perfume or maybe even her favorite snack. Women love to know you have been thinking about them. The little things go a long way!
Now for a few romantic ways to remind her you love her:
If you have the money pick up a nice set of bath oils at Bath and Body Works and some nice candles. Also pick up a bottle of warming massage oils. Grab a few roses at your local flower store and make a path to the bathroom. Set the oils on the tub as well as the candles and maybe a bottle of her favorite wine if she enjoys it. A soft music CD will help finish up the mood. Lead her to the bathroom and tell her to enjoy herself.
Once she is in the bathroom, set up some candles in your bedroom and prepare to give her a massage when she gets out of the tub.
Now........give her a complete massage. Nothing sexual, unless she initiates it. Keep it G rated and try to give the massage for at least 45 minutes so she gets the full treatment. Once you are done, cuddle with her and go to sleep.
If she did not initiate sex that night that is fine.......keep up the small romantic gestures by helping out around the house. Once she realizes that you are really just working on your marriage the sex will come.
It isn't that she isn't into you, she is just feeling a little unloved and unappreciated. By working hard to show her how much you love her she will in turn become more comfortable and will want the intimacy back in your marriage.