replied 8 years ago.
Hi again, and thanks for your reply.
If she's in great shape, and feels good knowing that she exercises to maintain that good shape, I don't think 1-1½ hours is excessive. However, this is a question for her and you to ask her doctor. A good nutritionist/physician can advise her and you, re: what is an appropriate caloric intake and exercise regimen for a woman her age, height, weight and physical condition. She can also be given a healthy diet that includes what she likes to eat. Three nutritious meals a day are healthiest, but some people prefer to eat more, smaller portions throughout the day. The fact you mentioned she doesn't eat many things, and barely eats lunch, is not really healthy, but if she's getting her required amount of vitamins, minerals, etc., from the food she does eat, that's good.
While the exercising may seem 'compulsive', as long as it's not damaging to her physically, it may be better for her to fulfill this compulsion in *that* way (exercising), than to possibly begin behavior leading to developing an eating disorder, again.
After 4 years of maintaining a good (healthy) weight and having no physical problems, I think the odds are in her favor; but, you have to keep this in mind--an eating disorder is based upon an emotional/psychological cause, so if this isn't addressed by a professional, there's always a chance it could re-emerge. I think it's always best to seek help before the undesirable behavior can/may return, so seeing a counselor/therapist would be good for her. If you feel she will feel upset, hurt or angry if you suggest this, approach it from a different angle, and tell her you heard it's a good idea to go to couples counseling before getting married, to make sure all 'issues' are out in the open and on the table, in order to prevent future problems.
You still call her your girlfriend (as opposed to 'fiancée'), and haven't said if you proposed or not, yet, or if it's just understood that you'll eventually get married, but I feel that if you put it to her in that way, re: seeing a counselor, find out in advance, if this counselor has experience with treating women with eating disorders, so you can accomplish two things at once: pre-marriage counseling, and finding out what her chances are, of reverting to her old behavior. You can also ask the counselor if s/he thinks the exercising is excessive, because you're concerned.
A physical examination and lab work would determine if she's healthy and would most likely conceive with no problem, but, you bring up another important aspect of your relationship/possible marriage: Have you discussed having kids? If you say you don't want any, are you just saying that in the event she can't have kids, or because you truly don't want to have kids? Maybe she DOES want kids, and this important aspect of your relationship needs to be discussed and explored further, so you both know where each person stands on the subject, and decide that you want the same things. You don't want to be married and then first argue about having or not having kids.
If you truly love her and want to be married to her, this is your decision, but keep in mind that your parents only want what's best for you and for you to be happy. It's their 'job' (comes built in with parenting) to point out these possible problems, before you make the most important commitment of your life. Do them the courtesy of listening to them, take what they say under advisement, and then make up your own mind.