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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21448
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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how do i fix my relationship to make my husband feel better

Resolved Question:

how do i fix my relationship to make my husband feel better why he is in jail
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
HiCustomer and thanks for your question.

The best you can do is make your husband feel that you still love him and support him, even though he's in jail. If you get to visit him, it's good that you can see him in person, and in addition, you can write him letters and bring him gifts like cookies, etc., if that's allowed.

If you can provide some additional information regarding your situation with your husband and why he is in jail, I'd be happy to help you further.

I wish you much good luck!

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

He is in jail because of a fight we got in to about how he thinks that i was cheating or him. I didnt sleep with any one and i told him that but he doest beleive me. He knows that i messed around on him, and it is messing up our relationship. He holds it againts me all the time. Know that we are back together it hurts him knowing that and i dont know how to make him fell better about it. I have been doing everything that u said to do and its not helping. He is still hurting about what has happened in the past and he cant get over it. how can i show him that is not going to be like that, he is the one that i love with all my heart and i dont want to lose him over the past. Thank You so much for helping me on this.

Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hi again Shanna, and you're most welcome; it's my pleasure to help you.

Thanks for your reply with helpful additional information about your situation.

Just a few questions for you:

What are your ages?

How long are you married?

You said you didn't sleep with anyone else, but also said he knows you messed around on him, so does that mean you were involved with someone else during your marriage, but you didn't sleep with this other person?

How long will he be in jail and is he there because he became physical during the fight he had with you?


Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Im 23 and he is 24. We hae been married for 4 months. I dont sleep with any one else. I kiss aronther man. then we got in to the fight that was physical and i stop talking to him right after that. Then we ran into each other about 7-8 months later that when we both decited to get back together and in that 7-8 month time i was with another man. He knows that. He will be getting out in august this year
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hello again, Shanna, and thanks for your reply.

You need to realize that you have given him cause to not trust you, after having kissed another man while you were married; however, the 7-8 months that you were with another man, when the two of you were separated, he can't hold against you, because you were not together at that time.

You are both quite young to be having such a troubled relationship. If you want to make your marriage work, you have to be sure you will not be tempted to kiss or be with another man, again, and give your husband all your love, all the time. Because you won't be able to be together, physically, until August, you can use this time to tell him how sorry you are for what happened before, but you are a 'new' person now, and you love him with all your heart, he is your life, and you want to make everything right with him, when he gets out and you can show him how much you love him in person.

For now, I know it's frustrating, because you can write him letters, speak to him occasionally, etc., but you can't actually be together. Tell him that you are not the same person you were when you messed around on him, you've learned your lesson and would really appreciate it, if he would give you a second chance. Tell him of all the plans you have for the two of you, when he gets out in August, and keep reminding him of how beautiful it's going to be. Send him pictures (photos) of places you'd like to go with him, and activities you'd like to, when he gets out. Keep referring to your FUTURE with him, and ask him to not dwell on the past. Be very positive and upbeat and tell him that things will be different and better, when you get back together in August. Keep his hopes up that things will be GREAT and you only want to love HIM, and you hope he feels the same way he first felt about you before you got married and he fell in love with you.

Send him romantic cards, telling him you love him and you'd like him to always remember this and think of this, until you can be together again.

The decision, of course, is up to him, but I hope he realizes how much you love him and trusts that you will be faithful, and hopefully, your marriage will continue successfully, once he's out.

I wish you much good luck!

Cher and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Thank you so so very much. You have been a great help to meand
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Thank you so so very much. You have been a great help to me and i hope to my maggiage.
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hi Shanna, and you're most welcome!

Thanks very much for your reply and your accept and I hope everything works out well for you both!