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Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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Girlfriend is going through several very bad emotional things

Resolved Question:

Girlfriend is going through several very bad emotional things right now. Our relationship had been going really, really well from my perspective, she has told me that she feels a connection with me like nobody she's ever met. Then, just when everything got really, really bad for her at work, her daughter, her ex-husband, etc... She very suddenly broke up with me, telling me there is no "spark". Obviously, she needs space to deal with all of this, which I am providing. My question is should I even attempt to contact her again? Or should I just let this one go forever. We've been together for 8 months, I love her very much.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walter replied 8 years ago.



Stress can cause big problems like this, and can make a women question just about everything in her life including relationships. It sounds like she has a lot going on right now and for that reason giving her the space she needs is very important.


At this point I would just go ahead and start moving on, if in the end things settle down for her then maybe you guys can work it out. But waiting around to see what happens isn't completely healthy either.


She asked to end it, so you have to respect her choice and assume that it is in fact over and start moving on. If this is just stress and something she may change her mind about then it will happen when it happens. I would say give her a month or so and shoot her a email or a phone call and see how she is doing. If things have settled down then maybe a date would fall in line, if not no harm no foul since you have already started to move on.



Customer: replied 8 years ago.
I just feel so bad that, even though it was at her request, I literally walked out the door when she was at such a low point. Is it too confusing if I contact her now to just let her know that it's ok to talk if at some point in the future? Or is that one month time frame pretty much the minimum to wait?
Expert:  Walter replied 8 years ago.



I know it seems like a bad thing to do, but had you tried to fight it then you may have caused further harm. The last thing you want to do is cause her any more stress.


As for the call, no feel free to call her now if you like. Explain to her that you love her, but respect her choices and will give her space if that is what she wants. Let her know that when things settle down if she changes her mind to give you a call. Then wait at least 30 days before calling her.



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