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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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I have been married for 12 years. 4 years ago I decided to

Resolved Question:

I have been married for 12 years. 4 years ago I decided to pursue my passion for acting. My husband says he fully supports me which gave me comfort and confidence. Recently he expressed with much anger, that he can not stand to see me playing another man's wife or girlfriend and especially cant see me kiss anyone in a scene! Well, I have recently been cast in a play in which I have to make out with not 1 but 2 different actors! I actually have the lead in this play and I'm thrilled about doing a good job, but I am afraid to break the news to my husband for fear of upsetting him! We have been getting along so great, and hes been so loving lately. How can I tell him this news without hurting our relationship?
This dream that I have of being an actor is a life long dream that it took courage to pursue after all these years. As a family we have made scrifices, such as me quitting my full time job, just to see this dream all the way through. It means the world to me. But my family also means the world to me. I am so torn...I feel that it would be so dishonest to never tell him about this performance, but at the same time I am so fearful...I know how upset he will be when he learns about it.
PLEASE HELP. The play goes up in 1 month!
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Hello Delores,

As I'm sure you know, you are really stuck between a rock and a hard place. You have two choices, tell him or don't. If you tell him the truth, he may be angry, it may start an argument, but at least you know that you've been honest and upfront about it. If you do it and he finds out that you didn't tell him, then he'll think you are a liar, and that you 'wanted' to kiss someone else or make out with them and that's why you hid it. As much as you don't want to tell him, the alternative is far worse if he finds out.

Its sad that he cannot see your vision the way you see your vision and he's in essence putting you in a position where you have to make a choice about honesty. Love means making sacrifices and understanding. He must know that you would not be interested in someone just because you are in a play with him but for some jealousy over-rides any amount of common sense or rational thought.

If you do decide to tell him, he may still want you to drop out, and so at this point you will be forced to make a decision that you may not have considered. Do you take a chance at a lifelong dream while possibly losing the man you love, or can you be happy giving up your dream to make him happy...and whether you will resent him if he makes you give this up.

I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.


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