How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Cher Your Own Question
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21336
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Cher is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hello, I dated a nice man for about a year. I went off to pursue

This answer was rated:

Hello, I dated a nice man for about a year. I went off to pursue my Masters degree and we broke up. We are both in our late 30s. I returned homw, and we go out, but as friends. No, we are not intimate and I do not want this. His Mother is very ill right now, and he is scared. I lost my Father a few years ago so I have been a support system to him. I had a fresh fruit basket delivered to his parents' home. Yes, I love him. No, he is not wealthy (far from it) and he is not handsome, but I love him. I has a good spirit, and I want to marry him. He says he is "emotionally unavailable". I have prayed about this as we have a great deal in common, are equally yoked, and have a wonderful renewed friendship. I want him to be my husband. What to do? What to do?
Hello, and welcome back to Just Answer.

From your description of the situation, I think if you remain a true and caring friend, and his support system, through his mother's illness, he will begin to realize that he feels strongly about you as a wonderful, giving person, as well, and with time, he may change his mind.

It's understandable for him to feel 'emotionally unavailable' at this time, due to his mother's illness. He has no room in his mind or emotions to think about anything else. While he appreciates you being there for him, now, when he needs your support most, I think he will be equally appreciative for all your efforts, down the line, as well.

If he feels he's not ready to commit to anything permanent, but you love him and would like him to be your husband, as long as you are still friends and see each other often, a chance always exists for him to change the way he feels, in the future, when circumstances are different.

Don't push him, don't speak of marriage again, or wanting to bring your relationship to the next level, for fear of scaring him off. Continue to be his 'friend in need' and a great emotional support to him, at this time, and take things as they come.

I hope everything works out well for you, and please let me know if you would like to discuss this further.

Cher and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you