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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21332
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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I just attended an alumni dinner at my old high school, Im

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I just attended an alumni dinner at my old high school, I'm 29 years old, single, never married, no children. A guy that I graduated with was there, also single, no children. He approched me while I was talking to a friend and then joined us at our table. He was asked to help with something and he left the table. Later he came over to where I was and sat down beside me and talked then someone else asked him to do something. Before we all left he came up to me and a friend of mine and said that we should get a group together and go out to eat one night. We agreed that that would be nice. So, later that night I sent him a message on Facebook and was tring to be a little flirtty with him by telling him that I knew why he didn't have a profile pic, and that was b/c he didn't want to fight of all the girls. His response was telling me I need to get my eyes checked. I haven't heard back since. Did I read him wrong at the dinner? I thought he was showing intrest. Was I wrong?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.

I don't think you read him incorrectly at the dinner; from your description, he did seem interested.

His response may have been as such, because he has a hard time accepting compliments. Some men are like that (and some women, too); he also may have low self-esteem and may have thought you were mocking him with that comment; you didn't say anything wrong.

There would be nothing wrong with writing him back (privately, not for all to see) and saying: 'was it something I said?' or something to that effect. Then, tell him you loved his idea to get together for dinner with 'some of the old crowd', and when is a good night for him? Don't throw any more compliments his way re: his looks, and just play it cool. You can still be flirty, but try to get to know more about what's going on in his life, right now, what kind of person he is, and then you can 'read' him better regarding how to proceed and what to say.

I hope things turn out well!

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Well, I actually did send him a private message. I started the message by telling him it was good to see him and that it was a great idea about everyone getting together. Then I told him about the picture thing. His exact reply was that yes, we should all get together and that before that I should get my eyes checked that I may need glasses. I then replyed back and said that yes, I was due to get my eye's checked but that I was not the only one that thought he looked nice and that I knew my eyes were not playing tricks on me. After that last private message, no response. Was the last e-mail too much??
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hi again, and thanks for your reply.

From your description of what you said to him, no, I don't think the last email was too much, at all; you were being friendly, complimentary, and nice. There's always a multitude of possibilities for why he has not yet responded: he may be really busy, he may not have received the email, as I mentioned previously, he may feel embarrassed that you paid him a compliment, and because you mentioned you were not the only one who thought he looked good, he knows you and others discussed him, and this may make him feel uncomfortable. I truly believe you said nothing wrong.

If it has been a few days, write him again, and don't make reference to your last email, just ask how he's doing and when he will be available to get together for that dinner he mentioned, as you're trying to 'coordinate' something with a few of the alums. See how it goes from there. If he says he has to consult his calendar, etc., give him your phone number and tell him to call you with a couple of dates he's available in the near future, so you can start making arrangements, and tell him you'll let him know which date has been chosen for your dinner. Also ask him if he has any suggestions for favorite restaurants in the area.

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