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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21336
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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wife on qasense(seasonale) and for about a month now

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she has turn icy cold to me...we are married 15 years and have had ups and downs but this time she is so cold and distant. Been reading effects of quasense from others and some have said it can make you really moody

While this medication may cause a woman to be more sensitive and moody, as you mentioned, it can also decrease libido (sex drive), and this may be why your wife has been cold and distant to you, recently.

If you've had your ups and downs throughout your marriage, which is not uncommon in most relationships, but this time it's different, and something 'new' is that she started on this medication about a month ago, it might be what's causing her current attitude.

Ask her if anything is bothering her, so you can talk it out, and get to the core of the problem; it would also be a good idea to have her call her doctor and ask if blood work might be appropriate at this time, to see the levels of the medication in her system, which may need adjustment.

I hope things improve for you soon!

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
wrote this question horribly....she has been on it 2 years and just now she has turned on me..i might deserve most of it...been kinda an idiot lately and she is sick of it but again...she is more cold than a normal fight....she has been this way for at least 3 weeks and is now on her period...just wondering if this drug can effect you this far down the road if it has not really doen so before
Hello again, and thanks for your reply. Also, thanks for your patience; I experienced a computer problem earlier, and just recently was able to get back online.

While it may be possible for this drug to adversely affect a woman in the weeks before her period, since it limits the numbers of periods to only a few per year, if you're aware that you have been doing some things to upset her recently, it may be a combination of both. Although you would expect to see side effects from a medication right away, sometimes, adverse effects can show up at any time during the drug's therapy. Remember, it's altering hormones. If you can share with me, in what ways you think you've been an 'idiot' lately, perhaps I can help you make it up to her and she'll start acting warmly toward you again.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
pretty much had a great mom business failed and i'm heading toward bankruptcy and i had my head up with butt not really helping around the house(little but important things). I am also very moody and unhappy and i needed to wife is passive aggessive to the point that it took her 15 years to unload her feeling on she won't stop...

killing me on every asepect of my i am trying my best to wise up quick but man its an emotional lroller coaster...she has to fall back in love with me...and she was saying i was doing much better but i blew it by bringing up this birth control question yesterday...she says i always think its someone else....looking for blame...

so 10 steps forward...50 back...

i need to figure this out...i don't want to lose her but i am surpised that she turned me off so quickly(at least quickly in my mind)

its brutal but i'm willing to do anything to get back on track

Hi again, and thanks for your reply with helpful information about your situation.

May I ask your ages?

Is this a first marriage for both of you?

Does your wife work? If so, what type of work does she do?

Are you working again, now?

Do you have any children?

What is your typical day like, including interactions with your wife?

Thanks for all your additional detail.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
41 and soon to be 40
first marriage
she is sub teacher i am self employed and even though going enough to pay the bills..coming back in that regard

3 kids 10 and 8(twins)

routine broke down over last year...used to be more mr dad...then buried myself in work that didn't really didn't need to be done and she took over everything...major rut time

she got up...did kids on off herself and then all the activities.including cooking.... which i was always the chef...add to it...i'm cranky all the time due to money etc...and it was no fun...

the thing about this particular time is that she built up such resentment...she is having a hard timecoming back to me emotionally since ...

part of me understands it and i am trying my best to get back on track and kick it up

she seems to be appreciating that but every time we have alone time...she drills me on EVERYTHING from day one of our relationship...i can change the future but i can't defend something from 20 years ago...

and the "not feeling me" aspect of this is killing me...i have hard time swallowing that i've been a jerk the whole marriage

But as i said...she is major passive maybe she hit a wall...

i am great father according to her...but want to be great husband too...

killing me...because as a guy...want a quick fix...hence the thoughts that it might be part the drugs...part me
Hi again, and thanks for all your additional information, enabling me to better understand your situation.

I think it's great that you're trying to talk things out, and make some changes on your part, feeling that you have slackened off in your duties as a husband and dad, over the past year.

If she's passive-aggressive, she can't help but bring up things that bothered her in the past (whether it was last year or 20 years ago), so I'm glad you recognize that.

I can understand where you're coming from and you're really very insightful regarding this situation! : ) While there's a possibility that her recent behavior might be related to the drug, in part or completely, from your description of recent events, I think she may have just as you said, hit a wall, after doing everything she does, basically on her own, for the past year, when you started experiencing the problems with your business. I'm sorry you're in such bad shape, financially; I know it doesn't help to know you're not in this boat alone, but so many others are going through what you are, as well, because of the economic downturn.

I think she may have reached her saturation point, re: taking care of the kids and the family, combined with the effects of this medication.

Be as honest as you can with her, tell you realize how you've dropped the ball since you were trying to save your business, but you're ready to resume your responsibilities now and be as much help as possible. If/when she brings up past occurrences, try to gently steer her back to the present, and reiterate what you propose to do NOW to help more around the house, with the kids, etc.

I do also think marriage counseling might help you get all your (both of your) issues out in the open, and help you find mutually satisfying solutions to them, at this time.

Continue to be understanding, try to do your best to lighten her load, re: taking care of the kids, etc., and keep your positive attitude; I think that will help you get over this 'hump'.

I wish you much good luck!

Cher and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you