I am 36, he is 37. This is a second marriage for both of us, although we have known each other for nearly 20 years. We will be married 6 years in a few months. The 4 kids are ages 10, 11, 12, 13.
He is a nice guy, but not a grown up to me. He goes to work and contributes his money. He doesn't cheat, he doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, isn't abusive - so it's hard for most people to understand the issues.
He doesn't contribute to the family in a non-monetary way. I have 100% of the responsibilities for the house, the bills, the shopping, the cooking, the appointments, kids' schoolwork, their friends, our friends, our families, holidays, bdays, gifts, morals, values, everything. He goes to work, comes home, and will run some errands as he is asked.
Even for Easter, I made all the plans with both sides of the families, did easter basket shopping, grocery shopping, cleaned the house, cooked, made plans. All I asked is that he get up and help out that morning with hiding eggs, etc. I got up early to get a jump on things, i heard his alarm go off, he turned it off and went back to bed. Then it was my fault because if it was so important to me i should have gone and got him out of bed.
He refuses to deal or talk about anything. He is very defensive about everything. Any time I tell him that it is something that he has done that is upsetting me, he trys to turn it around and accuse me of something. I don't speak to him at all at this point. I even have gotten to the point that I hide things or outright lie to him. Not about anything important or bad - just so that I don't have to speak to him.