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I was using my husbands laptop today and decided to see what

he looks at on Craigs...
I was using my husbands laptop today and decided to see what he looks at on Craigs list. I was shocked to see how his taste in Porn has become extremely raunchy, vulgar, and down right disgusting. It's not normal stuff!!! I don't know what to do? He has always been so secretive. Now I know why. I have no idea who this man is that I have been married to for over 25 years. Six months after we were married he bought a private mail box. He wanted to be a swinger without my knowledge. When I found the receipt for the mailbox he blurted out well I wasn't going to meet anyone he just wanted to see who would respond. When this happened I lost all my trust in him. I love this man very much and know he has never felt the same way about me. I am so devastated. He has a drinking problem thatFinancially I can not afford a divorce. Recently he has said things to make me feel he is either going to kill me or find someone to do me in. He scares the crap out of me. The only way I can stand up to him an
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Answered in 2 minutes by:
4/14/2009
KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience: Relationship expert for almost three years with JustAnswer.com
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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
Is by being aggressive and saying outlandish things just to make him back off. My question is how do I deal with him? How do I learn to control my anger? How do I get him not divulge in porno? I have many questions I just don't know where to begin

Ikywife,

 

It sounds like your husband might have a addiction to porn sites and anger issues, I don't understand why he is so angry with you, is it because you found out about the porn sites. What is more important here is are you really worried that he would follow through with trying to kill you or hire someone to do it for him? If so. then you need to leave and never look back, if he is even thinking about killing you then you need to be very worried about your safety. He really needs to get help either through therapy or a sexual addiction support group but he has to want the help and want to stop looking at porn and making that the center if his life. Sex addicts and people addicted to porn online don't know how much they hurt the people around them because the addiction becomes more important than contact with real people.

 

Sex addiction can be managed through recovery program and therapy but sufferers cannot escape their obsessive on their own and it usually gets worse. Similar to other addictions like drug addiction and alcohol addiction, sex addiction is based on obsessive and compulsive behavior. Sex addiction is treatable with therapy and support groups, a sex addict can regain a normal life again. Many sex addicts are usually in a state of denial about their problem but once they have admitted that they have a problem, they can begin the healing recovery process, there seems to be common characteristics among the addicts. Some of the common themes running through sexual addiction include: difficulties forming and keeping close and intimate relationships, fear of allowing others to really know them and ultimately fear of rejection, feelings of shame and worthlessness, and loneliness.

 

The sexual addiction or addiction to porn has to be you last worry he has taken to threatening your life now which means he has lost all touch with reality and the real life and if he isn't willing to get help then you have no choice but to leave as soon as you can why take his threats lightly and take the chance of him actually following through with that threat. I think it's best that you separate from him and not come back unless he starts therapy and gets help for his issues and also anger management, he may have to hit rock bottom before he gets help and if he is threatening your life then you have to take him seriously, alot of women do not take them seriously until they are actually hurt seriously or killed, don't end up another statistic.

KimberlyF
KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
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