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20+ years as a Therapist
20+ years as a Therapist, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience:  PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
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In a relation ship when a man is working to much and the woman

Customer Question

In a relation ship when a man is working to much and the woman whant time and no time togehter to be tuning up the ralation ship what can happen ,I am a female and i think having time with my man is realy important for me but he work alot how can i manage my alone time at the same time when less time i am with him i fill week and sad , i dont know but some time i fill more sad and i dont know what to do?????
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  20+ years as a Therapist replied 8 years ago.



This is an extremely common problem with couples.


Most women find that occupying their alone with friends, family or hobbies make a HUGE difference.


Do you have friends and family where you live? You can spend time with them. If not, make friends.


Do you have things you like to do? Cooking? School? Sewing/Knitting/Scrapbooking? Reading? If you don't know what you like -- find a hobby! Do something you have always wanted to do.


If he's working, you can't really be angry with him... it's how he makes his living; so do your own thing while he is working and then when you two are together, make it fun and be happy -- who would want to be with someone who is always sad or upset?



Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Well i dont understand what tipe of relation ship can kipe goin when they dont have time , some time i think there is no love in this world any more and i think that if i get the alone time with friends in general what is the hole point to be in a ralation ship ,maybe i am wrong and if i am please tell me what can i do better?

Expert:  20+ years as a Therapist replied 8 years ago.

All relationships go through periods where the two of you don't have enough time together. If you really care about this person, you can try to be patient until it passes. Nobody keeps the same job forever anymore -- he may get promoted, he may get a new job -- you never know.


You can't base a relationship on "right now" you have to base it on what you feel for the other person -- and love means holding their happiness in your heart as well.



Customer: replied 8 years ago.

I dont know maybe i see this relation ship out of place because of locke of time but like you say go out with my friends or meet new friends i dont know if that can happen right now i am a mother of 3kids and 1on the way i dont go out i dont have time not neven for my self i guess life and love is not importante like it was before now is money first and earning money is good but i know i lot of people that try holding happiness when every thing suposse to be happy at the end there not i guess playing pretending happiness is the better way of living life sorry if i sound cold but life has been making me fill this way every were i go and talk there has been so many people sad depress because they dont spend time with there love one or even been harte brake up because there love one sleep with another person or there work to much and there house is not the same any more i am so confuse what you think about that there has to be a better way to fill better and bill up a srtonger relation ship !!!

Expert:  20+ years as a Therapist replied 8 years ago.

I agree! So... when you DO have time together, make it special -- make a nice candlelight meal, watch a romantic movie, do something *he* likes.


Make the little time you do have together special.



Customer: replied 8 years ago.
That why it confuse me when you told me at first go out with friends or meet some friends or learn a hobby it make me fill that if my love one spend time working all the time i will be ok by be more suronded by friend i think friend dont cover sadness of filling alone from my parner my friend wont make me happy when i need love from my love one when i need his kissis his hugs and ect i dont bealive my friend or a hubby will satisfection with my love one i think speending time with friend or other thins will drag me away from my man none of thoose choice will replace love and lost time with my man the less time that i have with him make me fill to just not be with him even if it hurt me !!!
Expert:  20+ years as a Therapist replied 8 years ago.

Well, I am glad we cleared that up! It sounds like you have a plan now!


Good for you :-)