Hi Kimberley and thanks for your answers. I do appreciate it.
I didn't realise I could type more detail into my original question, so I didn't give you much information to go on.
Sadly, though, we have tried (and yes, I have tried) ALL those things - but she just isn't INTERESTED in sex at all, let alone trying different positions or places !!! I can help around the house all day, take her to dinner, go to movies, spend time chatting happily over coffee . . . . it all helps to build the relationship, but NOTHING helps for sex. She gets massages, strokes, cuddles, affirmation, but it's to no avail - she might help me to orgasm occasionally (e.g, every 3 months) but it's hardly a sex life.
I'm sorry but your answers are ALL the "standard" answers we have heard from every counsellor and we've done it all, we are best friends, BUT there is negligible SEX content. She is frigid and doesn't want to learn anything to help her enjoy erotic things.
If you are totally out of ideas, so am I. A minister I know spent a long time with me, and eventually conceded "gee, you're between a rock and a hard place". I have prayed endlessly about this for years, but the fact is I have to stop trying to change my wife and I am at the point where SEX and MARRIAGE have to be 2 separate things. Any other ideas ? Thanks, Don.