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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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My Mother and I have decided to start a business, unfortunately

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My Mother and I have decided to start a business, unfortunately we don't have a garage where we can keep the equipment. So we decided the machine will have to be in the house. My finance can't be around my mom because she is too controlling and I understand. But now that the machine will be in the house, my mom will be at the house more often and he has clearly expressed that he can't live in the house knowing my mom would be there everyday. He said he's moving out, tomorrow on his bday and now making me feel guilty. I've been dreaming of becoming an entrepreneur, and now i have my chance. But if he moves out, I'm worried that its the start of things going downhill. We've been together for almost 10 years, living together for 2 yrs and engaged recently. I don't know how to handle the situation, please help
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


What your going to have to do is weather the storm until you are able to move the machine some where else. You fiance' isn't being very fair he wants you to make a choice and if he truly loves you he wouldn't make you do that, he may not be doing it on purpose because him and your mother cannot get along but that is what he is doing subconsciously because you don't want your relationship to end or be strained so in the process you are thinking about possibly putting your dreams on hold. I understand your love for him but if he cannot support your endeavor and wait it out what do you think your marriage will be like? I would sit him down and talk to him and ask him to please be patient and support your career choice as would you if the tables were turned and it were him that had a business deal with someone you didn't care too much about, also talk to your mother and ask her to be cordial and respect you and yoru fiance's space so that you are not stressed by the situation with her and your fiance' this can be worked out easily if there were some compromises made with everyone who is involved. Maybe allow him to live apart just until the machines are out of the house but don't let your mother being there affect your relationship with your fiance' it doesn't have to be the end of your relationship you just have to set boundaries and not allow your mother to overstep them. Ask you fiance' to please be patient and wait out the storm with you that is what relationships and marriage are all about support each other no matter what even when you don't totally agree with everything.

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