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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
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An etiquette OR business question.I and teen-aged daughter

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An etiquette OR business question.I and teen-aged daughter were invited two months ago to go to friend and daughter's Ormond Beach Time Share for Spring break with them,   They go with me regularly to my cousn's island house and Dad's efficiency beachplace at a wonderful Island. The only cost is my "cost" re complicated relationship with his second wife, esp since Dad has passed on. We've done OK in past ;whoever drives, the other pays more for gas. Whoever's house, the other pitches in more for groceries.Iknow:the economy,but I feel a lack of trust here. and that's sad! Kinda like a "Bait and switch"She knows we really want to go, but we have absolutely no extra. I hope you can help me.


You should talk to your friend and explain to her that you cannot afford anything extra other than the trip itself and maybe make an arrangement for her to pay for the trip and then you reimburse her later that is one option but if you feel it's unfair that you have to pay when you do not make her pay when you go on vacation to your Dad's beach place on the Island then voice that to them. You really don't want a vacation to get in between you and your friend's relationship then there has to be a compromise where the two of you sit down and talk this out before the trip. I don't think they are purposely charging you it may be that it's more expensive to go to Ormond Beach than to the Island where the house was owned by your father. If you really want to go on this trip maybe compromise that she pays for it and you pay her back if not all of it little by little or it may be best for you and your daughter not to go if you cannot afford it right now, don't feel obligated to go just because you said yes if they are adding on cost that you know you cannot afford then maybe you should back out of the trip unless you can make a compromise. Promise to pay her back if she can afford to pay that extra cost. The only thing with that is if you do not pay her back it will strain the relationship so what your going to have to do is seat down with your friend and tell her you dilemma and see if the two of you cannot come up with something where you can still go and not have to shell out anymore money.

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