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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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Im 35. He is 40. we met online 1 month ago. went on 2 dates

Customer Question

I'm 35. He is 40. we met online 1 month ago. went on 2 dates and i went to his house once and he to mine twice. I really like him as he has all the qualities that I have been looking for. He says that he really like me too and want us to become serious. Our first date he was a gentlemen. First 2 weeks, he was very attentive, sending sweet e-mails, text messages and phone calls all the time. Soon after he became unrelentless in trying to get me in the bed. I told him that i did not know him well enough for that and that we would have to exchange HIV results first. he agreed but still tried to get me in bed. After his last unsuccessful attempt, he was kind of standoffish, then he started calling me less, not answereing my text or returning my calls. I decided he was only after sex so i stopped communcation with him 4 days ago. Yesterday he texted asking why he had not heard from me, he missed me..mixed messages. Shall i pursue this or not? Am i right that he is only looking for sex?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Hello Luna,

I would personally feel that that was the case based on your scenario. Once you stopped calling him, that sent him signals that he might be losing his chance. If you're comfortable with it, go out with him a couple more times or talk to him on the phone and see where his head is at. See if he backs off of the sexual aspect of things and if he's willing to be more of a gentleman. If he's expressed that he wants to be in a relationship, then waiting for sex shouldn't be an issue...yet it seems to be. That tells me that something isn't isn't right in his mindframe, that maybe he only said all of that because it might make you comfortable enough to sleep with him.

You have the right idea, and this is how any new man should be dealt with. It's will definitely separate the men from the boys. I welcome your thoughts, let me know if you want to talk more.


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Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX of knew that ..just wanted a second opinion.


I feel really hurt because it has been a REALLY long time since i met a guy that i really liked and had all the quaities that I have been looking for. People (even some ex's) have told me that I always give up too soon and i did not want to do that this time. I will not go out on any more dates with him to see where his mind is because the more i am around him the more i like him..not good for me.