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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 750
Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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How can I get someone to ask me out

Resolved Question:

I'm a little shy & I don't always know how to show a boy I like him. I don't know how to get the balance between being encouraging and being too obvious & I usually come off as a bit unfriendly. I don't get asked out that much, even though I'm a nice person and not bad looking, and I think this must be why. I really want to know how to get this one boy to ask me out - I like him & think he may like me. Could I ask him for help with something (we take the same subject), or suggest working together - or would that be silly? We're doing a presentation together tomorrow and that's the last obvious chance I have to talk to him. please help!
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:


-What are your ages?


-How long have you known this guy?


-What is you relationship with your family like?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Hi Kimberly, thanks for answering

first of all my relationship with my family is good. i am 22 and at university away from home but I talk to them often. The guy in question is the same age as me. I haven't known him long - we're in the same classes this year but we haven't had the chance to talk before. We're working together on a presentation at the moment that we have to show the class, and after we've given the presentation I may not have a good reason to talk to him (I'm shy) so I'd like to try and encourage him to ask me out, without being too obvious. We seem to have things in common like enjoying languages, music, the same faith, similar background, sense of humour. He's also a lovely guy and it would be so nice to go out with him, but I don't feel comfortable with asking him out myself. I've got a feeling nothing will happen! :(

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


Thank you for answering my few questions so that I can better answer yours. I am going to type my answer now and I ask that you please be patient while I do so. Thank you in advance.

Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


There are many young women just like you that are shy and standoffish when it comes to dating but you have to put yourself in positions that he can ask you out easily. He probably won't ask you out in front of your friends so try get alone with him, but don't make him feel too uncomfortable. Try to become friends with him first so that you can learn to better communicate because getting him to ask you out is only part of the solution what happens when he does ask you out and then you don't know what to talk about on the date that is a sure way to get him to not ask you out again is he feels the two of you have nothing to talk about, so you're going to have to take baby steps. Make one on one communication with him. If he can't talk to you comfortably, you two shouldn't be going out yet. If he has a chance to talk with you one-on-one, and he may feel more comfortable asking you out later. You may need to do some practicing of what you would talk about with him and you have to break out of your shell just a little bit to be able to carry on a conversation with him.


Plan to go over your presentation somewhere where they two of you can be alone as long as you feel comfortable being alone with him, keep the conversation practical and friendly and appreciative. Do not forget having fun, laughing and flirting a little bit show him that you may be interested. When you talk to him look him in the eyes and stay on his every word if he sees that you actually hear him he will be attracted to you. Now you are talking and flirting, you really need to signal him in to ask you out. The best way is to ask him if he like doing things like going to the movies, going out to dinner. If you don't want to lose an opportunity to get to know him after the presentation then just ask him yourself. Plenty of girls ask out guys nowadays. It's fine if he says no. Just don't let it get you down. Stay positive and move on. Remember, he might be interested in you, but he might just not be ready for a relationship. Taking action is a victory in itself. Focus on the action, not the outcome.

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