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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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I need to get over a guy, but its not happening. Weve been

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I need to get over a guy, but it's not happening. We've been friends for 6 months now and he's obviously not into me (altho at one point he seemed like he was). He's even told my friend 'she's not my type'. He's into this other girl, who is very quiet and 'classy' and i'm the more hyper and talkative kind. I know it's crazy but i keep thinking if I lose weight or if i calm down when he's around I can get him back. I want to be able to accept the fact that soon they might start dating and I need to move on. I'm not even sure why I keep holding on when it's obvious to every one else who knows the story that it's not gonna happen between us. How do I convince myself and let go of hope.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


You should not have to change for anyone and if a person can't accept you for who you are then he doesn't deserve you and there are men out there that will appreciate that you are more outgoing and like to talk it seem this guy wants someone he knows he can control easily. Just the fact that you feel you had to change to please him was a warning sign that you would eventually lose yourself in this guy and that is NEVER a good thing. True love is unconditional and without boundaries like, "If you change this I will love you more," or "If you only acted this way I will like you more." or if you looked this way and lost weight I would be more attracted to you." If a person has to put demand on you early in the relationship then it's not going to work because you will find yourself changing everything about you just to please him and then lose yourself in the process. I say you should be glad that you found out what type of person this guy was now. He wants someone he can control and mold into his own kind of woman and that makes them fake and not themselves. Be yourself and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are and not want to change you. You don't have to change anything about yourself the ex is the one that needs to take a look at the way he is or he will find himself alone because being controlling gets kind of old along with fake persona. Find closure with this relationship and I say get back out in the dating scene and make a list of requirements you want in a man and make sure the man has those qualities you are looking for before you even consider dating them this will keep you from finding a man that is so shallow that they look at the outside instead of the inside.

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