Hi Cher. I appreciate your help on my relationship. Let's see to update.....not much has changed.... I turned 51 on March1st. She took me out with her friend to dinner the sat night before. I spent the night, we had sex on the couch after many beers, I spent the night on the couch as I've been accustomed to since her " love cool down phase." On Sunday, the next day, my birthday, got up at noon, we had coffee, chatted (her kids were at their fathers for the weekend). She was talking withn her daughter by phone and said, "I'm making dinner tonight. It's kenny's birthday, and I'll make him what ever he wants." I didn't to that point even know if she wanted me to stay all day Sunday at her house, or if I should go home and go about my business. the day was good....we went grocery shopping, made the dinner, and had a nice meal and evening afterwards. Pleasant, but not lovey-dovey.
I had not seen her for the 4 or 5 days before that. I wasn't sure she was even going to see me for my birthday. I texted her on Saturday afternoon 2/28/09 to see if she wanted to get a sandwich and drink at one of our local pubs. She did, and called her friend to join us for a birthday celebration for me. Her friend, unbeknownced to my girlfriend, has talked privately to me recently about my relationship with Trish. Our recent phone calls were made by me, wanting insight or advice on what I should do. Mary, Trish's friend, told me she had dinner with Trish a couple of days ago and discussed me a bit. Mary told Trish, "Trish, you must have real feelings for Kenny, or you wouldn't keep seeing him." Trish said i know, I know. Mary said "he loves you deeply, and he really cares a lot about your kids." Trish said i know, I know. Mary said "he won't stay in this kind of relationship forever - you run the risk of losing him." Trish said i know, i got to get it right, or she said i need to figure it out, or she said something to that effect. So I'm still in limbo. What I'm doing is a sort of "rope-a-dope." I'm trying to stay "in the game" until the warm weather comes (we met last July 3rd, and we started out in love doing warm weather activities) and maybe I can get her back mentally,emotionally to that time last summer. I feel if she gets back to being in love, saying i love you, texting she misses me, regaining our loving closeness, she won't slide back again. I think, and I may be wrong, that she will keep the wall down permanently with me if she she opens it up again.
Cher, I pray almost daily that her heart be reopened. I'm also a student of "The Secret." I don't know if you are familiar with "The Secret," or a believer in its teachings of the Law of Attraction. I'm trying to follow the teaching of what they call "the creative process." Ask, believe, receive. In this process, it seems that the critical component is to belive that you have it already. That you must believe, without doubt that you it's already yours. Do you subscribe to such a theory? And can the Law of Attraction work in this instance?
Also, I'm trying not to put all of my eggs in her basket, and leave open the possibility for total heartbreak again. I reopened my account on Match.com (Trish and I met online last year on Singlesnet). I met one lady for a drink, and I'm texting another now. I don't want to be with anyone else but Trish, so am i out of line here?
I look forward to your input. Thanks Cher!