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Ask TherapistMaryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1701
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I dont know if this is actually a psychiatric question

Customer Question

I don't know if this is actually a psychiatric question, but here it is. I have had a problem for a long time of family members not calling me back in a timely manner or not hearing from them during the year, but then being expected to attend family gatherings (Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc.). My daughter is doing this also. I just heard from her after 6 weeks of no contact (and me leaving a voice mail and sending an email with no response). I have talked to her about this and she did better for awhile. I ceased contact with my Mother after years of this and felt wonderful afterwards! Unfortunately, I am wondering if I should do the same to my daughter. I think I would be happier if I did.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Hello Mother

Do you think this is a learned behavior of your daughters?

How old is your daughter?

Does she work or is she in school?

What did she say when you spoke to her about it?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.



I don't know if it is a learned behavior of my daughter's or not. I always call her or anyone else back within a few days at the most (same with email). So it is not learned from me. She may have learned it from my family. They are like this. My daughter is 27, and living in a different state and working. She is doing very well in all areas of her life and is otherwise a great daughter.


When I spoke to her about it she said it was no big deal and she was just laid back about things like that. I told her that being laid back and being inconsiderate were 2 different things. I don't mind waiting up to a week, but a month or longer seems uncaring to me. I don't speak to my family because of things like this. I couldn't stand the hypocrisy of being strangers throughout the year and one big happy family at holidays. Please tell me I am not crazy! None of my friends have family patterns like this. Thanks.