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I know this is a really strange question that you probably

Customer Question
cant answer...but how do you...
I know this is a really strange question that you probably cant answer...but how do you know when someone is 'the one' I am in love with my partner, but we ve only been together 6 months. He is wonderful and I cant imagine being with anyone else as kind, caring and loving. He makes me feel good, we have fun, and I think he d make a fabulous husband and father. We are both talking of marriage and children as soon as possible, Im 33 and hes 36. And want to rush because of our age and I have endometriosis so conceiving may be a problem. But Im sure others will say its soon especially my parents.
Submitted: 8 years ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 16 minutes by:
2/21/2009
Counselor: Walter, Relationship Mentor replied 8 years ago
Walter
Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11,528
Experience: Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
Verified

Hello,

 

No this is not a strange question, in fact we get it quite often. The fact is love is easy to achieve and the old saying "He is the one" is really just a myth. Love can grow between just about anyone if there is attraction. The key to love is making it work...........it sounds like you got you a good man that you can trust quickly. Staying together for another year isn't going to change how you feel if you both love each other and are ready for a commitment.

 

Compatibility can bring a couple together quickly, but trust, hard work and compromise is what keeps them together. Regardless of how easy it is now, it will get harder but that is to be expected in ANY relationship. So when you question is "He the one" you have to really add to that, such as:

 

  • Is he the one I love
  • Is he the one that I feel will make a good father and provider
  • Is he the one who will work hard to make this relationship work when we hit a bump
  • Is he the one who would be willing to go to marriage counseling if things got tough
  • Is he the one who would be willing to stand by my side even when I am grouchy

 

An you need to ask yourself those same questions........marriage isn't always easy. Not the lasting ones. All the love you feel right now can not stop the little ruts every married couple feels. The key is can you both work on these ruts. I see so many couples jump into marriage without asking themselves those questions. And those are important questions. If you are he can not work out small disagreements now then it may need more time. But if you find that you are both willing to fight for each other then another year isn't going to change that.

 

As for your family.........yes they are going to tell you it is to soon. Likely his family will tell him the same thing. But if you are happy and you are confident that he would be willing to work on your marriage then what does it really matter what others think?

 

I would suggest each of you talk to your own family first separately. Since this is moving so fast you do not want to spring it on them at any old time. Sit down and let them know your reasons and that you love him. Explain to them that marriage isn't about waiting to see what happens its about working to make a future and you feel confident that getting married earlier then some is just another step you are working on.

 

I know this is all fast.......so take some time for you as well to sit down and make sure this is what you want. Look at the positives and the negatives of your man and make sure that he is what you have been waiting on. Love is a very strong bond.......and with it and a little hard work you both can live a happy marriage.

 

Walter

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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
THank you so much, your advice has been excellent!
Counselor: Walter, Relationship Mentor replied 8 years ago
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