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KimberlyF, Longtime Relationship Expert
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Relationship expert for almost three years with
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SO I met this girl a few weeks ago and am interested

Resolved Question:

SO I met this girl a few weeks ago and am interested
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.

HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. By the way, it would help us to know:


-What is your ages?

-Could you explain your situation a little more?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Ms. Kimberly Ann,

I appreciate your rapid response to my question and I have to admit, I've never done this before. Here's the current situation. My buddy and I found this great bar right by our work, so when we get off, we throw back some beverages and call it a night. Well, there is this waitress that works there. We have been going there quite a few times the last few weeks. Sometimes we are in her section and sometimes not. When we are not, she always comes by to chat a bit and say hello and makes periodic stops at our table. I was always taught to be respectful so I call everyone Sir or Ma'am. One night shes says that I always make her smile by calling her Ma'am and she thinks I'm a nice guy. I have to be honest, I really don't speak to her as much as my buddy does but during her conversations with my buddy she always makes it a point to turn to me to ask my ideas/opinions. Then, the other night, while out with a few more friends for happy hour, one of my female friends pulled her aside while I wasn't paying attention and said, "My friend over there is interested in you but he's too shy to ask you for your number". Her shift was over and she brought the tab leaving her number at the bottom. At this point I'm thinking she was put on the spot and was pressured a bit by my friend to leave her information. Anyways, I texted her a few times and she repsonded but I'm the one who has to make the initial contact. She told us that her birthday was this friday and she was going out with a few friends that night. During one of our texts, I asked if I could take her out to dinner later this week before her birthday but she said she already had plans but she did say, "maybe we can do something next week". I said just let me know. So my buddy and I just finished off another work week so we wondered down to the bar for a few drinks. We weren't in her section but she did stop by and talked to us for a bit. She never mentioned anything about our plans for next week and her schedule is pretty simple. She looked busy, so we left without saying goodbye. In my opinion, she's not interested (If she was, she would make an effort to make contact through some form texting, calling, etc.) and she was just put on the spot that night to leave her number. My plan on the situation is that I made an effort and will leave it up to her. I don't want to pressure her into a date because she obviously doesn't want to go and she's just trying to be nice. She also has stated that she isn't dating anyone right now and told me that her valentines day kinda sucked. She's 20 years old and I'm 22. What are your thought's and how should I take it from here?
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.


Even if your friend went up to her and said that she wasn't obligated to give you her number so I suggest you talk to her face to face or on the phone and not through text. She may be waiting for you to ask her when she is free, if she didn't want to be bothered she wouldn't still come over to talk to you when you are not in her section, she may be thinking that she is making an effort but you are not and you have to make more of an effort to show her that you are interested in getting to know her and seeing where things go. Talk to her about when you can take her out then you will have her one on one. If you want to know if she felt obligated to give you her number then ask her the things you want to know. If she is single I say go for it and ask her when is a good time for her to go out with you. Once you get to know each other outside of her workplace it will get easier for the two of you to communicate.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Ms. Kimberly Ann,

I appreciate once again on your rapid response. I will definietly take it into consideration. I just have afew more questions to ask you. I've been in situations before when a girl leaves or gives me her number and after I make the initial contact they usually call/text me periodically/randomly just to say hello or something like that. However, with this girl, it's totally different. She doesn't make contact unless I say something which leads me to believe that she isn't interested. But I do understand what you are saying about maybe she thinks that she is making an effort but I just don't see it. Even if she was really busy this week, she could atleast give me an approximate date and time for next week right? But maybe you are right when you say I should talk to her face to face. But she does have my number and knows she can call at anytime. What are your thoughts?
Expert:  KimberlyF replied 8 years ago.



She seems a bit standoffish and I don't know if it's because she really likes you and is shy about approaching you or if she did feel obligated to give you her number either way you are going to have to ask her when is a good time for her to make dinner plans and if she still acts as if she is undecided ask her if you should let it go or continue to try, she will have to give you an answer. You may have to just come right out and ask her if she is interested or not.

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