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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21382
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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Hi -- I have been seeing my GF for 7 months - she is 27, Im

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Hi -- I have been seeing my GF for 7 months - she is 27, Im 26. The relationship is GREAT on ALL aspects. I truly love this girl and do wanna consider having her around for a long time. Now, sometime werid happened a few days ago. She has never told me that she loved me. I have never told her either. Valentines day comes around and she gave me a card. In the card was a poem she wrote. One like expressed her love for me and that she loved me. As I sat there reading the card she got really nervous - I could tell. I then told her I loved her too. Her response, I dont really get or know what she meant. She said - 'You don't have to say it' ...I paused and didnt know what to say. What the hell does that mean? Should have I not said it?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
Hi, and thanks for your question.

When she said 'You don't have to say it', I think she meant either, you don't have to say 'I love you', because I already know you do, or, she meant, just because *I* (meaning she) said it in my card/poem, don't feel 'obligated' to say it back; in other words, "tell me you love me when you feel ready, I don't want to 'push' you into anything you feel uncomfortable saying."

It sounds like you have a great relationship and you do love each other, but you've just never said it out loud and it IS a little nerve-wracking, saying the words and making the commitment to each other with the words.

I think this is a GOOD thing, and I'm glad it happened on Valentine's Day (very fitting), and there would be nothing wrong with you saying to her, why did you say I didn't have to say it, after I read your card? I WANTED to say it and have been thinking it for a while, but I realized we just never actually said it to each other, and I'm glad we did, now!

I hope things continue to go well for you both!

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