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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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I am so upset that my daughters father continues with disparaging

Resolved Question:

I am so upset that my daughter's father continues with disparaging remarks about me to her on the phone. "Mommy doesn't love you. Mommy doesn't love you, only herself, can you say that to Mommy?" Is there anything I can do about this? After the fithe time she actually looked at me with fear in her eyes.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Hello Christy,

Are you looking for legal advice, or advice about what you should do personally?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
advice, anything! Her father ordered TWICE for DNA testing. I had left him when I was 5 months pregnant. He threatened to sue me for custody on Jan24th 2009 if I didn't let him claim her on his taxes ( I have residential custody and found out by accident that he was working in 2008. I only get $60 a wk from him in child support....) I have recieved NUMEROUS text messages threatening me, insulting me, harrassing me..should I be asking for legal advice at this time???
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.

I read the legal advice you were given and I think it was on point about what you need to do. Sometimes we have a picture of how we think things should be and what would be best for the child. A mom and dad that get along and a happy family agreement, but the fact is sometimes it's not meant to work out that way. He obviously is only interested in playing dirty, and at this point you should be keeping a daily diary of incidences, text messages, phone calls, etc. If he's going to play dirty, then you need to cover your back. Is he even thinking about the damage he is causing your daughter? Because I promise you, there is damage being done. If it were me, I would do anything to keep him out of her life until he could show that he wasn't trying to harm her. Maybe it's time to take the bull by the horns and apply for full custody. Whatever you have to do to protect your daughter, because it's obvious he doesn't have the same goals for your daughter as you. I cannot give you legal advice, but if he is threatening you, then you should look into a restraining order or harassment order, which will reflect badly on him if he ever tried to follow through on his threats to try and get custody. It's just a very bad situation for your daughter, emotionally and mentally. She may at this point need to see a counselor. Even though you tell her you love her, her dad telling her that you don't could cause serious psychological damage, who knows what he's saying or doing when her has her alone? I hope this helps. Let me know if you want to talk more.

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