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Hi I beeen dating with my boyfriend 4 months and was all good.

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His job involve a lot...
Hi I beeen dating with my boyfriend 4 months and was all good. His job involve a lot travelling and we see each other 4 times a month most. Couple weeks ago he was coming back home on saturday and propose to see me on tuesday next week, but I ask him what he is doing over weekend and he said house chores, I was really disapointed and send him a message that I really upset about it. He propose to come on trip with him and we can spend more time together. We did indeed see each other on tuesday and everything was fine and left again to travell for another week. WE keep in touch chattting on msn messenger when he is away. Again I been chatting to him yerstoday and he ask me what my plans for coming weekend and I reply do not have any plans yet and ask him what his plans are and guess he reply he is going out with his friends and busy again sunday. I felt like someone hit mi with hummer. My question is does he really likes me or he want just finished with me? I found his reply very rude.TH
Submitted: 8 years ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 3 hours by:
2/5/2009
Counselor: Cher, Relationship Enthusiast replied 8 years ago
Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21,520
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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HiCustomer

Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. The other Experts and I are working on your answer. By the way, it would help us to know:

What are your ages?

When you see him about 4 times a month, was it usually on a weekend? Does he mainly come home on weekends?

Was it understood that whenever he was home, you'd get together, or did you have to make a specific 'date' for a specific day and time?

Do you ever speak on the phone when he's away?

When he asked you to come on a trip with him, did this take place?

Do you suspect he is seeing someone else and his feelings toward you have cooled?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Thanks,
Cher



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Customer reply replied 8 years ago
What are your ages?

When you see him about 4 times a month, was it usually on a weekend? Does he mainly come home on weekends?

Was it understood that whenever he was home, you'd get together, or did you have to make a specific 'date' for a specific day and time?

Do you ever speak on the phone when he's away?

When he asked you to come on a trip with him, did this take place?

Do you suspect he is seeing someone else and his feelings toward you have cooled?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.

Hi Cher

When my boyfriend was come back home we would agree a specific date and time to meet each other in hotel. Once on his birthday I was in his house and sure he is live alone. When he is away we never speak on phone, we use msn messenger or e-mail or sms. We never went on trip and he never mention again. I am not sure if he start seeing someone, but we are from different countries he is english and I am russian. Also before his last trip I told him that my divorce is almost finished , I did never told him that before, but he knew I separete from my internet profile. Also he usually at home two weeks and two weeks away. I think his feelings towards cool down now, because before he would be first ring me and ask when he can see me, but not last 3 weeks. I really want to speak to him about where our relationship is going , but not sure how can I do it or is really right thing to do. And I like him a lot and dont want to loose him. Would thank you for any advice.

Victoria
Counselor: Cher, Relationship Enthusiast replied 8 years ago
Hello again, Victoria, and thanks for your reply with additional and helpful information about your situation.

If you sense that his feelings for you have cooled down and you're seeing him less frequently when he's home from his work travel, I think you need to discuss this with him.

While I understand that you like him a lot and don't want to lose him, at the same time, you don't want to 'expect' to see him every time he's home, and then be disappointed. You also have the right to know if he's seeing other women, in addition to you. I think, at this time, it IS important that you speak to him about where your relationship is at, at this time, and where it is going, but you do need to be careful in how you choose your words. Asking him about 'now' is one thing, but asking him where the relationship is going, may scare him off, as most men are afraid of commitment; so, beginning a discussion re: why he doesn't seem as anxious to see you when he's home, recently, and ask him if you've done anything to hurt his feelings or upset him, that you're unaware of. If you start out this way, like, did *I* do something wrong?, if he says 'no', then you can ask him, why are we not seeing each other as much, lately? I miss seeing you.

He might tell you what you don't want to hear, that his feelings have cooled and he doesn't want to see you as much, or anymore, but, as hurtful as that may be, at least you'd know the truth and you can move on. He might say he's been really busy when he's home, etc., etc., which is fine, and don't push it too much at that time, but continue to communicate with him while he's away and wait for him to ask you to do something when he's home. If he doesn't call YOU, try not to call HIM. Let him wonder what YOU are up to, when he's not home, and also, when he's home.

Will he be home for Valentine's Day? Do you celebrate that holiday where you live? If so, see what he sends you or gives you (flowers, chocolate, etc.) and/or if you get together. If you know he'll be home, make up with him NOW, to see him on Saturday night to celebrate Valentine's Day.

I hope some of my advice has helped, but remember, you're in the 'live' situation, so you need to 'feel' it out and interpret his 'signals' and reactions to what you say, in order to get a better feel of where he is, in your relationship.

I hope things work out the way you want them too!

Cher
Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21,520
Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
Verified
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Cher
Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21,520
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Experience: Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor

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