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Cher, Relationship Enthusiast
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 21417
Experience:  Extensive experience as Educator/Teacher, M.A., Counselor, Spouse, Parent, Psychic Advisor
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should i continue the relationship with my boyfriend who cheated

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should i continue the relationship with my boyfriend who cheated on me?

Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. The other Experts and I are working on your answer. By the way, it would help us to know:

-What are the ages of you and your boyfriend?

-Could you explain your situation a little more, re: the cheating?

-How long have you been seeing each other?

-Does he know you know he cheated?

Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.


Customer: replied 8 years ago.

I am 24 and my boyfriend is 25 (TONY)


He (TONY) broke up with his ex girlfriend who was together with him for 3 years in Netherland, after that Tony came to USA in order to continue his study. Coming to USA, Tony felt in love with me at the first day of class. Tony wanted me to be his girlfriend, and I didn't want to. At that time, his ex-girlfriend saw my profile online; she came in my blog and chatted with me. She said she wanted to be my online friend. She told me that Tony broke up with her and she was very sad about it.


I felt what she felt so I said I would help her to take revenge Tony by being with him and take all his money. She said she didn't want me to do like that. After that, we continued to keep in touch.


4 months passed, Tony took care of my lots and lots. I felt in love with him and accepted to be his girlfriend. After that, I had to go back to my country for holidays for 2 months. One day, Tony and his ex girlfriend chatted with each other online, she told him all the things which I said I would help her to take revenge on him by taking all his money. Tony was very angry. He sent me an email to say that he wanted to break up with me. After breaking up with me while I was in my country, his ex girlfriend came to USA with him; they stay together in his house. They slept and had sex.


Thing changed after I came back to USA, and his girlfriend had to go back to Netherland. I called Tony and asked him out and explained to him that I didn't fall in love with him at the first time but after 4 months I was really in love with him. Tony doesn't contact with his ex anymore after that. He realized that he was still in love with me. Tony wanted me back and he told me all the truth that he did have sex with his ex when she was here with him.


I really don't know what to do now. It has been for 1 year, and until now I can't forget the past. It hurts lots. I did try to break up with him sometimes, but I couldn't. I do love him, but I just can't forget his disgusting past. Please help me!


I am sorry for my poor english.

Hello again, and thanks for your reply with additional and helpful information.

Your English is fine! : )

I think, under the circumstances, you can forgive Tony. His ex-girlfriend did this on purpose, to break you up, and you can tell him that when you said those things about trying to trick him re: the money, etc., you really didn't know him very well at all, and you were only kidding, and playing along with the ex-girlfriend who was so angry with him. She was USING you, to get back at him and also trying to get him away from you.

If you truly love each other, don't let this stand in your way, unless you feel you cannot trust Tony again and think he will cheat. But, as I understand it, this happened a year ago(?), so I'd forgive him and try to move on in the relationship.

Are you sure that Tony has no more communication with the ex? If not, I'd be sure to make that happen, and continue to tell him how SHE befriended YOU and that's what caused all the problems.

I wish you and Tony much good luck; he sounds like a good man!

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