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TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1704
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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with my boyfriend for 7 yrs. Chatted on line for 2 of those

Customer Question

with my boyfriend for 7 yrs. Chatted on line for 2 of those yrs. before meeting. Met on line. I go to his place in Long Island every weekend for the past 5 yrs. It is a good relationship. He doesn't come to my place because of allergies to my cats. Recently devastated - I noted that on his computer was a dating site. Never said anything though. I created an alias of myself and he went for the bait and has been communicating with me (doesn't know it's me). Should I tell him? He even e-mailed "me" when I was at his place last weekend when I was in the bathroom. What is going on here? He behaves the same.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cher replied 8 years ago.
HiCustomer and thanks for your question.

Do you think there's a future in this relationship for the two of you, down the line, like, perhaps, marriage, or is it clear that you're just 'dating' and the relationship might not 'progress'?

Have you discussed seeing each other exclusively, is it understood, or did it never come up?

Has he ever given you any cause to think he was seeing other women, since you started seeing him 'in person', 5 years ago?

Do you ever go out on dates that don't involve you going to his place on the weekends? In other words, do you ever go out closer to where you live, or meet halfway, etc., to a movie, dinner, etc.?

Thanks for any additional detail you can provide.