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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Life Coach
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
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how should I talk to him about us seeing each other more wit

Resolved Question:

I'm seeing this guy I work with, we both live with our parents still, if nobody understands my situation then please ready my last question, it's more detailed, but I don't see him that much, we just text message each other sometimes, we don't call each other because of our plans for our phones are different and we don't want to use all of our minutes :), but the last time I seen him was nearly 3 weeks ago to give him a late christmas/birthday present, I care a lot about him and I'm growing to like him more and more every day, and I miss him a lot, I want to see him more often but I don't know how to bring it up to him without it seeming like I'm trying to be to clingy and I don't want to do or say something that will run him off, he's going through a hard time, his wife that was pregnant had a miscarriage either before or after christmas, and the last time he came to see me at work after I got off, he told everyone that he was going to get a divorce from him wife, a friend of his that I work with told me that he told him that him and his wife don't get along, he said "it's like trying to mix water with oil", the last time me and him were together was on christmas eve and I hinted at him that I don't see him enough and he said it's because he's tired when he gets home from work and his car isn't running so he has to ask his mom if he can borrow her car if he wants to go somewhere and he told me she's funny about letting him borrowing her car because he stays gone too long with it. I miss him so much, he works hard every day from 7am-4pm at a chicken factory here in town, I believe him when he says he's tired from work but how can I convince him to make time for me somehow? neither of us have cars to get to each other so that we can spend time together, he's talking about us always getting a hotel room and going and staying for a day or two but he never brings it back up to me, I guess it's because he can't get his moms car, I'm not going to give up on him because of something this small, what should I do? I would appreciate the help, thank you, XXXXX XXXXX explain to me how I should ask him about us spending more time together if you don't mind :)
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Hi Christy,

How long have you been dating?

Where did you meet?

Have you mentioned it to him yet?

How often do you see each other?

What are your ages?

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
right now we're just friends, but we've been talking for almost 4 months now, I meet him at work, no, not yet, I guess I'm scared he'll make up some excuse or lie to me to get out of seeing me but he says he likes me, we see each other about once every 2-4 weeks, my age is already there, he just turned 27
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
thank you to whoever reported me, I was going to pay a $10 bonus after I received an answer
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Hi Christy,

Reported what?

As to your question, thank you for the additional information. It seems that its going to be difficult for the two of you to see more of each other even if you wanted to since the transportation is such an issue. Are you not interested in having him leave his wife or seperate from his wife before getting involved with him? You have to remember that someone wants to see you more, they will make it their business to see you more. If someone wants to be with you, you won't have to ask, they will make sure you spend time together.

With that being said, if you think he likes you, then the next time you see him, just tell him something like "you don't make enough time for me" and give him a pouty look. If he tries to explain, then it might be that he's been feeling that way too. If he doesn't react or gets defensive then he may not be ready to make that step yet.


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Customer: replied 8 years ago.
hi, someone reported me for not offering to pay more, I can try and pay a little more but I'm on a budget because of my job right now, him and his wife never saw each other hardly that much, they didn't even live together, the only reason I started talking to him was because I heard at work that things weren't working out between the two of them, I know he would try and make time for me if he really wants to see me but I don't want him to walk to where I work every day to come see me even though it's not that far from where we both live, we both live near each other and where we used to work together, about 2 blocks down, my mom's a problem too, she's racist, yeah, I'm kind of in a interracial relationship right now, he could come to my house if it wasn't for my mom, a friend at work asked me "how can you love somebody you don't see that often?" I just told him it can happen, and you can still have feelings for someone that you're not seeing that often, I'm guessing he just doesn't want to go through a lot of pain again, he does act kind of protective in his own ways, should I call him and talk to him or talk to him about it in person?
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
Ah I see, it's not a 'report' per say, its a suggestion to give a better price for the expected work, as for some of us, this is our job. :)

I would talk to him about it in person and see how he reacts first. If he reacts in a negative way, I would wait a few weeks and then bring it up again over the phone and see how he reacts. In fact you would know best, XXXXX XXXXX's easier to talk to on the phone or in person. Either way it's a difficult situation and you want to be sure that its something you really want to deal with before trying to see him more. If so, all you can do is ask him if you can see him more and see if he makes the time for you.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
lol, it would be easier to talk to him in person because he lies sometimes, I mean, I've caught him in a couple of lies about some things that people said about him at work and he's not a very good liar, I've seen better than him, not that that's a good thing.....
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 8 years ago.
It doesn't sound like he's the greatest choice for a relationship. Why him and not someone else?

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