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We are mid fifties...dating 5 years...yes i have talked with her....When i am called a name i feel rejected and inadequate...She came from a bad marriage....i came from a good one.both spouses are deceased. My feelings are hurt when this happens and it takes me several days to recover...It happened a week ago and I cannot get it out of mind.
She says that i am too sensitive....and discounts my feelings.
Unless your actions are hurting your relationship negatively you shouldn't have to change for anyone. You need to tell your mate that this is hurting you and you want it to stop. Words can hurt so much more than actions because they break the victim down little by little to where they feel like nothing after a while. It is a form a verbally abuse and your partner has to know that she is hurting you and have to change and it's up to you to know how much verbally abuse you are willing to take. She may not know that she is hurting you as much as she is. She may have had to deal with some type of abuse in her marriage and now she is doing the same to you. You are not too sensitive you are only tired of being belittled and put down.
Tell her you are fed up maybe if she knows that she could possibly lose you she will work harder to change that about herself. She has to see what she is doing wrong and want to change or it will only be broken promises. I really feel that this may stem from her past relationship experiences and they have carried over into your relationship, she may need counseling to see that this is a wrong and hurtful and get the help she needs to get to get pasted past issues.